Fat Guy In A Little Coat

You Won't Get My Money, Giraffe!

2011-12-15T08:56:00.000-08:00

Added to the list of "Stores I will never purchase from again:" Toys R Us.

I try to avoid public rants, but I feel compelled to share my experience to help others avoid the pain.

This debacle happened yesterday as the wife and I were attempting to finish up our christmas shopping. (by "finish up" I mean "start") My final sentiment as we walked out the door was "I will pay twice as much to NOT have to deal with this."

Sadly, this wasn't an isolated incident at an isolated store. I have had a similar experience at three different stores in two different states.

While my business is likely forever lost, TRU dog, I will gladly offer up a few suggestions to maintain or possibly gain other customers in the future:

1. CLEAN YOUR STORE

It's not that it was messy because of shoppers who think their time is too valuable to spend the extra 5 seconds to put something back where they got it. I could have dealt with that. Your store (especially your bathrooms) made Waffle House look like a hospital operating room. You expect me to bring my kid someplace that is going to give them an incurable disease? I think not. I literally gagged when I opened the stall door to see a layer of filth that was very plainly WEEKS old.

2. GET ON THE FLOOR
I circled the store 3 times looking for someone to help me. Three times. Not a single employee on the floor - not even helping other customers. There were, however, five uniformed teenagers huddled around the customer service desk.

Unless you are Wal-mart, you can't get your prices low enough to give horrible service and still turn a profit. You have to give the customers something they can't get somewhere else; in today's market - that's SERVICE. People will loyally pay out the nose if they feel like you care enough to help them have a pleasant experience. The people that come in for the half-off sale will NEVER be satisfied with the price. Quit pandering to them. Pander to the people that AVOID half-off sales because they hate the hassle.

3. FIX YOUR ENTRY
I'm sure you're weird entry way made sense to some shrinkage control expert when he designed it, but its awkward layout and confusing traffic flow add irritation and discomfort to an already chaffing experience. Ditch the bargain basement warehouse feel and give customers a classy experience.

Just for fun, I looked up your financials as I was writing this. It seems like maybe I'm not the ONLY one who has had a bad experience in your store and vowed never to return. Three straight quarters of negative net profit (-67million, -34million, & -93million respectively) means my helpful advice probably came a little late.

I hate to see a company go down, because the reality is you are a large employer with many livelihoods on the line. But, you're going to have to do something drastically different if you're going to turn a profit. Buy some sanitizer, fire the yayhoos, and make shopping easy. The giraffe you save may be your own!

Open Letter

2009-01-18T21:10:00.000-08:00

To: Those who attended Lifepoint Baptist Church Services on Sunday, December 28th, or those who have watched the sermon online.

I'm so sorry. Really. I had NO IDEA that my sermon was 3 hours long. I should have either a.) cut it short or b.) offered an intermission. I promise, next time I will wear a watch or something.

Thanks, in advance, for your patience and kindness. And for not throwing things.

-Jimmy

The Woodsman

2008-11-21T21:13:00.000-08:00

I'm about to go to bed to get rested up for tomorrow: Tomorrow being the day that I, along with two other robust chaps, will set out to gather a massive amount of wood for burning. We shall saw, we shall cut, we shall stack, and we shall smell bad at the end of the day: But, if things go as planned, we'll have enough tinder to keep us warm through the winter. (wow, it sounds so rustic saying that)

I haven't done any "real" manual labor in quite some time... at least not to the extent of chopping wood. I'm excited to get back in touch with my testosterol roots. I suspect there will be some serious grunting, high fiving, and possibly a chest bump or two as we take on that wiley pile of dead wood. Victory is ours!!!

Sheer Ecstacy

2008-09-23T21:25:00.000-07:00

That was the look on Olivia's face today after I sat her in the kiddie swing and sent her flying. Head tilted back, mouth wide-open, smiling, eyes closed, shoulders shrugged... it made me laugh just to watch her.

About the time Olivia decided she would like to check out more playground equipment, Anna had made her way over to where we were, and wanted to swing, too. She is really a little too big for the kiddie swing (you know, the one that looks like a molded plastic hernia brace?), but I went ahead and slipped her in and gave her a good shove.

She has a swing set at home, but I am hesitant to push her too high. She still doesn't quite have the hang of it, and I really prefer not to launch my daughter across the yard. But, with her safely in the kiddie swing here at the park, I went ahead and let er' rip.

She swung so high that she was getting slack in the chain. I thought she would want to slow down, but she wanted to keep going, so I obliged. She, like Olivia, became thoroughly absorbed in the event. I am sure that, to her, she was on the cusp of danger; Flitting the edge of kiddie swing safety: But, in reality, I could have pushed with everything I had, and she would have stayed safely in the kiddie harness and come flying right back to me. Maybe that's why it was so much fun.

It reminded me of how, sometimes, I get the sense that I am really "letting it all out" for God - taking risks, making big decisions, pushing the envelope. But am I? In reality, if I have followed where he led me (to the swing), then I'm probably pretty safe within the confines of His sovereignty and grace (in the swing). While I may feel I am really "out there", the worst that can happen is a fast, wobbly ride right back into the hands of my father. Maybe that's why it is so much fun.

Church Burn

2008-09-18T20:42:00.000-07:00

Every week, a few people from my church go out and visit a neighborhood and/or people that just moved in. We keep it short and sweet - a quick invite to church, and a couple of questions to see if they're interested in church/God/some baubles or trinkets.

The vast majority of folks are very nice, polite, and accommodating. A couple have been a little less than accommodating (usually elderly women). One was just kinda freaky. But every once in a while, we strike church visitation gold. We find a talker. The person that will have an actual conversation with you. The person that takes up 30 minutes of your time that would otherwise have been spent knocking on empty doors or being un-accommodated by old ladies. Praise the Lord for the talkers.

Sadly, though, I'm noticing a trend among the talkers: They have been burned. They have a desire to be a part of a church, but have had a bad experience that tends to shy them away from committing to one. They will visit here and there, usually, but when it comes down to digging in and getting involved, they just can't bring themselves to it. And who can blame them. If, by joining a church, I felt like I was setting myself up for a bad experience, I would probably not be so hip to the idea, either.

So what is burning these people? Sadly, their stories are all hauntingly similar. Usually, another family in the church acted very non-Christlike, and created a very uncomfortable, unfriendly, and unloving environment for aforementioned burn-ees. And, more often than not, the friction is caused by something that, in the grand scheme of things, is stupid. Even more, the church family who acted as the burn-er were jerks about the whole mess, and never made an effort to reconcile.

Yeesh.

Because of stupid junk like this, whole families are turned off to church. Families like one I spoke to recently, where mom and dad have a relationship with Jesus, but the kids do not. Mom and dad have been raised in church, but their children have not. And, what little exposure their children DO have to church is negative. Great job, jerk Christians! Now the 18-25 year old demographic, which barely has a recognizable faith as it is, will be even more disconnected in 5-10 years! THAT'S really furthering the kingdom!

So here's the deal: If you're active in a church right now, please don't be stupid. Don't be a jerk. Don't get your nose bent out of shape over ignorant things. Especially in your dealings with those "outside" the church and without a faith in Jesus. And, for all that is good and holy, do what Christ said to do and love: Love God, Love your family, love your neighbor, love your enemy, love those that hate you and spitefully use you, love those that act weird, love old ladies that shut doors on you, and love that family down the street that you don't even know, but is watching you to see if you are "really" a Christian like you say you are.

Tweet.

2008-09-17T09:10:00.001-07:00

Just in case all the non-posts aren't enough for you, You can also follow my non-posts on my twitter here.

I regularly update it once a month or so, usually about 2:00am. So, be sure and have it set to update to your cell phone. That way you can wake up and read my latest asinine thoughts in the middle of the night!

And let it be known that I have a liberal "follow" policy. I adhere to the "you follow me, I follow you" twitter ethic.

**SIDE NOTE**
When I was looking for the "fail whale" image you see above, I came across an interesting article. Read THIS after lunch.

The Commodity of Time

2008-09-16T18:39:00.000-07:00

**DISCLAIMER**
Bad news. It has been a while since I posted, and I am leading off with a trip down depressing lane. I apologize, but I just have to type what is on my heart. Fret not, though: I will be funny soon.
*****************

Five days ago we remembered the landmark event of our lifetimes: The September 11th Terrorist Attacks. I am still deeply affected by that day.

Much like a funeral of someone close, it forces me to reconcile my life against my ineluctable mortality.

It forces me to collate where I am and where I am going against where I want to be and what I aspire to.

It forces me to stop, look around, and take inventory of what's really important to me.

I was listening to a talk radio station this year on September 11th, and I think the host nailed it when he posed this rhetorical question: I wonder what those people in that building, on those planes, were thinking about?

They were not thinking about work.
They were not thinking about their possessions.
There were not thinking about tomorrow.
They were thinking about their families; their loved ones: And they were wishing to God they were with them.

When it comes to what we "own" in this life, our time stands tall as supreme in worth.
When it comes to what our priorities, our loved ones stand alone.
May we conjoin these two commodities appropriately.

THE FIRST TWO ON THE LIST

2008-07-28T22:04:00.001-07:00

SOMETHING PECULIAR
Tonight during our Bible study, Andrea looked at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. I've read/taught/preached this passage several times, but something new stood out to me tonight- The first two characteristics:

Patience. Kindness.

As we discussed the different facets of love, I noticed that everything we mentioned could be traced back to these two things. Patience. Kindness. In fact, as you read through the list of characteristics, it's almost as if Paul is toggling back and forth, listing descriptive words to add depth to the first two. Patience. Kindness.

NOT THAT PECULIAR
I guess this isn't all THAT peculiar. Jesus did the same thing with the Law. He took the 600+ laws of the Old Testament and boiled them down to two: Love God, Love others. Wait a second! Could these two passages be related somehow? Can we somehow interpose them into a stereophonic emulation of a Biblical Concept?!

How 'bout this: Loving God allows him to grant us the kind of Patience and Kindness we need to effectively Love Others.

LOVING GOD + PATIENCE & KINDNESS = LOVING OTHERS

Coincidence? I think not.

TRY THIS: For the next 24 hours, pass everything you say and do through the P&K Filter. Ask yourself, "Was that exhibiting patience?" "Was that Kind?"

If not, ask God for forgiveness, and to grant you the love you need to fill your deficiency.
So, if you notice me praying for most of the day tomorrow, you'll know why.

The Last Two Weeks

2008-07-28T15:08:00.000-07:00

I'M NOT THE MAN I USED TO BE
I remember the days, not so long ago, that I embraced road trips with the eager anticipation of a child waiting for Christmas. Not so any more. I've been at home a total of 2 days the last 2 weeks, and I can't say that I'm as enthusiastic about being gone from home as I once was. Maybe, just maybe, it has to do with having the 3 most wonderful girls in the world waiting at home for you.

CORNFIELDS
Week one found me on the road for a project at my job. Nothing much to write about, except that I spent most of my time in the middle of Nebraska corn/sod fields making sketches of pipeline equipment.

TEEN CAMP
One year ago, I was appointed director of Teen Camp at Cedar Hills. Two months ago I began preparing for it. Not really. But most of the camp did come together these last few weeks. Thanks to God's abundant grace and the fantastic stable of youth ministers/pastors that attend this particular camp, it came off without a hitch. So far I've received nothing but positive feedback. And, while I hesitate to call it a reward, per se, I was re-appointed to the director's post for next year. A few highlights from last week:

Nearly 180 campers. Up by 20 from last year.
At least 4 accepted Christ as Savior and began their journey to eternity
PODS - great teaching by great youth pastors
REV UP - our morning service that doubled as my fitness program for the week. Totally fun, totally intense, totally exposed my lack of physical fitness
Late Night: On Thursday I beat a trained military man at joust, and Matt Raines took 10 bags of doom for the team.
Cedar Hills Slip-n-Slide: 100 foot of slippery madness. I had no idea how much baby shampoo went into that thing!!
Organized Total Chaos: Chaos was the objective, and the objective was achieved
Camp Video - Very creative, very funny. Kudos to Clayton!!
Surprise visit on Wednesday from my 3 girls!!!! And, they stayed for the rest of the week. AWESOME!

It was a great week. I look forward to even greater things next year! I also look forward to staying home for a week before I head off to preach a youth revival at Spiro next Sunday-Wednesday.

A FEW RANDOM THOUGHTS

2008-07-12T22:50:00.000-07:00

Since I am living up to my sporadically nomadic blog-o-matic heritage, a few random thoughts for the 3 people that still check my blog. Enjoy the novella.

IOWA AS-BUILTS
I'm going to be gone to various pipeline terminals and stations in Iowa next week. The company I work for (as a drafter/graphic designer/web content manager) is sending me to help make drawings of some existing equipment. I'm excited and at the same time bummed. Excited b/c it will be neat (yes, I say "neat"... "cool" is SO overused) to see the stuff I draft in real life and get in-field experience: Bummed because I'll be away from my family for 2, possibly three weeks. The week following my Iowa trip is Teen Camp, and I might have to turn around and go back to Iowa again when I get back. Not so neat.

TEEN CAMP
I'm running behind on having everything together (I know, you're shocked) but not fatally so. The Iowa trip will be good in that I won't have JACK to do in the evenings, so I can finish pounding out literature and final details. BUT, I won't physically be there to get things done, which frightens me. But, I have a great assistant director that has already - and will probably continue to - save my hide on such matters. Props to K. George.

BIG DADDY'S
I sang/played for Kendra & Jonathan's wedding today. Yesterday for the rehearsal dinner, they took everyone to Big Daddy's BBQ in Broken Arrow. It is SOO LAME... that I've never been there before yesterday. This place is GREAT!

They have regular BBQ meats and such, but for yesterday's shin-dig they got everyone the Big Daddy Potatoes. I got the Signature Big Daddy, and it had almost every kind of BBQ meat you can imagine stuffed into it, as well as a ton of butter, cheese, and butter. It was PHENOMENAL. It was so good, we went back this evening and got some carry out of just plain meat: Briskit and Turkey - and it, too, was quality.

I'm not a HUGE fan of their sauce, but just because I'm not a "sweet" sauce fan. It's a good sauce, just not my style. But no mind, the meat is so good the sauce is almost a distraction.

Sorry, I'm going into "review" mode.. but oh how I love BBQ. So, next time you're in Broken Arrow, try Big Daddy's on 81st and Aspen.

LAPTOP ENVY
I'm typing this on the company laptop that I'm taking to Iowa with me next week. I just wanted to go on record to say that I totally miss having a laptop. This is so cool. I love computing from a recliner.

Donations to the "Jimmy Laptop Fund" can be made directly to me, or through my ministry "Jimmy Laptop Ministries", and are completely tax deductible!

CLEAN VENTS
We had our vents cleaned last week, and it's awesome. My house doesn't smell like stale cigarettes anymore. It smells like FRESH cigarettes! Just kidding. It DOES smell pretty clean, which is nice. Hopefully this will abate the allergic reaction my family is having to Owasso.

BBQ REPRISE
I can still taste the Briket in my mouth. Really, I love BBQ. Smokeymeatalicious.

TWITTER
I discovered Twitter this week. What a colossal and pretentious waste of time. I love it. I even coined a new word for my fellow Tweets: Spitter (n.)- ("Spam" and "Twitter"). People who "follow" you so that you'll look at their profile, which is full of links to spamming websites.

MY DAUGHTERS ARE ADORABLE
Anna was the flower girl in today's aforementioned wedding. She was quite adorable, and it was hard to pay attention to my sheet music and not just stop playing and watch her. Then evil thoughts of her being the one in the long dress and veil started coming to mind, so I quickly changed the thought-subject.

Olivia wasn't in the wedding, but wore a really pretty red, velvety dress that was about 4 kinds of cute. I'm such a blessed man. Those girls produce so much joy in my life: I just can't get enough of them! OK, mushfest is over. Sorry 'bout that.

ANDREA'S PREGNANT
Hmmm.. the subject line pretty much sums this one up. Probably going to be due in February (will find out officially next week) and is sick as a dog 24/7. The "touchy" stomach issue is exacerbated by the fact that she's become a bloodhound, and can smell a butterfly burp from 3 miles out. Oh, BTW, she says "Hi"...er... no, check that.. she's saying "HOOOORRRRKK!"

She's going to beat me up for that one. Worth it.

Well, it's late-thirty. I'm out.

HOW TO TURN $10 INTO $1 MILLION

2008-07-01T21:39:00.000-07:00

After we all got home last friday, Andrea & I were in the mood to do something cool with the girls. So, I started digging through the latest issue of "Tulsa Kids" Magazine (Highly recommended if you have childrens and live in the Tulsa area) to see if I could find something.

Find something I did.

It seems in Bartlesville, OK (a mere 45 minutes North of Owasso) There is a little place called "KIDDIE PARK". So, we loaded up the kids, grabbed some Chik-Fil-A, and off we went to B-Ville.

When we got into Bartlesville, I was pretty impressed to see some pretty significant growth since I had been there last.. about 15 years ago. I have always had a unique perception of Bartlesville as this classy / kitsche / old money-ish / kinda high-falutin' / vintage Oklahoma type of place. I dig it. It's got some old-town charm, fer shur, plus cool little things like, say, the Price Tower. Beautiful stuff, it is. Anyways, the park was relatively easy to find, just north of downtown.

When we got there, the place was packed. But, we were still able to find a relatively close parking spot, and made our way in. I laid down $10 for a handful of tickets (which, btw, is WAY to many tickets to use in 1 night) and off we went.

Most of the rides are 25 cents. 2-3 are 50 cents. And, they're ALL kiddie-sized. All of them. Some are pretty old, but they all appeared to be well-maintained and safe. I mean, their kiddie rides, not a super coaster.

We started on the train. It circles the park and gave us a chance to all ride together, and check out what was there. Then we got on the sweet daddy old-school ferris wheel with both girls. They loved it. Then we started letting Anna pick out rides she wanted to get on. To our amazement, she rode everything without parental presence on the ride, and LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. The smile on her face as she whirled around on miniature jalopies, boats, turtles-on-rails, airplanes, and the tiny ferris wheel was absolutely PRICELESS. (and, of course, we forgot to bring our camera) But, that's OK, because I will never forget the rapturous glee emanating luminously from her smile. It was one of the most joyous things I've ever seen.

We shut the place down, and still didn't have time to ride everything. They even had clowns (which, personally, frighten me) in the gazebo making balloon creations for all the kids for a $1 donation. Anna got the funniest balloon hat I've ever seen.

And then we enjoyed a quiet ride home as the girls zonked out about 5 minutes into the trip.

What a GREAT night.

HAIKU EDITION, Week 1

2008-06-13T09:03:00.000-07:00

This week I started a new feature at the "Jimmy's Cubicle Media Center" (a.k.a the two whiteboards on my cube wall). It's called "Haiku of the Day". We started on Wednesday, so there's only three this week. Feel free to submit your own. Who knows, maybe you'll end up being featured at the JCMC and become a regionally famous poet! (And by regionally famous, I mean famous to the 3 people that actually walk by my cubicle and read my whiteboard each day)

And, as a side note, if you don't know what a Haiku is, read the previous post / rant about the lack of culture in our.. um... culture. Yeah.

OFFICE HIJINKS
Our office Hijinks
Funny, but then malicious
Someone goes postal

SHAWKATS
Shawkats for lunch. Yum!
Why is my face so puffy?
GET THE BENADRYL!

NO FEAR
It's Friday thirteenth!
"Nothing to fear." I say
Adjusting my mask

High-Falutin' Larnin'!

2008-06-11T21:38:00.000-07:00

VO-TECH WAS COLLEGE
At least if you went to school at Geronimo High. The percentage of college graduates TEACHING there is pretty low, so the number of graduates that move into the collegiate ranks is, needless to say, not high.

Nevertheless... I still know what a Haiku was; And I learned it in, like, FOURTH GRADE!!

"HAIKU." "GESUNDHEIDT."
What is wrong with you people? Who DOESN'T know what a Haiku is? Seriously, you don't remember spending a day in elementary school cutting out mimeographed lotus flowers you colored with your fat crayons and then writing Haikus on the back of them? Is this not an experience shared by the common man?!

LESSON TIME!
For those that have not a clue what I speak of, a HAIKU is an Japanese form of poetry that follows a pretty rigid structure. The classic structure would be a three-line poem, consisting of 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, and then 5 again in the third, like so:

You don't understand
it can still be poetry
and not contain rhyme

Also the subject matter is traditionally about nature, por exemplo:

lotus flower bloom
floating gently by me
in a gurgling stream

Many poets have adopted a looser definition of the haiku, maintaining simply that it must contain 17 syllables total, and should be broken into at least two lines.

So now you know what a Haiku is. And now you are cool like me. Haiku on.

Kids These Days

2008-06-07T19:05:00.001-07:00

Boy, Do I Feel Old Sometimes
Andrea, the kids and I went to grab a bite to eat tonight at a local joint de la mexicana. We ended up across from a table full of what seemed to be recent HS Grads (though one was obviously old enough to drink as he attempted to prove his manhood by downing 4 margaritas).

I love HS/College Kids, I really do. Even as annoying as this particular group of guys (and one girl.. man I felt sorry for her) was. All the talk of "how fast my car is" and "how cool I am" and "how much I can drink" doesn't really bug me much. In reality, these kids, just like the rest of humanity, are searching for significance the best way they can; a flawed way, no doubt, but the best way they know.

But about halfway through my meal, they crossed the line: The language line.

I'm pretty laid back and easy-going about most anything you can throw at me. In my youth ministry days, I would tell my students that they could tell me anything going on in their lives, and I would NOT be surprised. Oh, you're selling meth out of the back of the church van? I was wondering what that smell was. So you're dating your mom's ex-boyfriend and pregnant with your dad's stepson's baby? Join the club.

You're not going to phase me.

BUT... cuss in front of my kids and my wife? I lose it. I just can't stomach it. Call it old-school, redneck, hillbilly, whatever... It drives me nuts. Lucky for me (and the kid with the potty mouth) it was an isolated incident. In fact, judging from the awkward silence immediately following the offending word, I suspect that either a.) his friends also thought it uncool to cuss in fronts of the womens and childrens, or b.) his friends saw the steam start to blow out my ears. Either way, the language was kept clean for the remainder of our meal, so nobody had to die.

In related news, Compadre's salsa is WEAK SAUCE (too much canned paste) but their Beef Fajita's are 7.5 out of 10 on the Jimmy Scale. And, since I got out of there still wearing the shirt on my back, they get an extra .5 bonus point for low economic impact: Bringing their overall score to a solid 8.

GOD'S SENSE OF IRONY - IMPECCABLE

2008-06-05T20:12:00.000-07:00

Last night was our LIFEGROUP at the Mitchell's. Dustin is gone this week leading worship at a camp, so he asked me to fill in and lead this week's session. I was a little "nervous", since it feels like an eternity since I led out in a Small-Group-Bible-Study-Type setting, but I almost laughed out loud when I sat down earlier this week (OK, Tuesday Night) to go over the lesson and saw the subject: Slowing Down and Spending Quiet Time With God.

Totally my forte'....NOT. (yeah, I just ended a sentence with "NOT." The 80's will never die.)

So, let's recap: God, in his divine providence, made it so that the small group session I studied the most in this whole 12-week series was the one about spending quite time alone with Him.

Coincidence? I think not.

It was probably a horrible session. It became less like a Discussion and more like the Jimmy Confessional Hour. But, I have a sneaky suspicion that I'm not alone in my total lack of quiet time with God, and total surplus of activity.

One thing that really stood out to me in the lesson: The "RHYTHM" of Jesus' Ministry. It seems the bigger his ministry got, the more "face time" he had with the Father, and the more "face time" he had with the Father, the bigger his ministry could become.

HIATUS: Over - for the time being

2008-06-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

WOO HOO! I finally got blogging rights back from my parole officer!

JIMMY HAMMOND: COMING TO A PULPIT NEAR YOU
And by "Near You", I mean "Near You If You Live In Tecumseh". My ex-pastor Macko called and asked me to fill in for him this Sunday. I'm excited to see our Calvary family. It's been a while! I think this may be my first "Fill-In" job (other than at the church I was on-staff at). Then, next week I'm preaching at Lifepoint. What a schedule! I need a personal assistant.

NEW JOB FUNCTION
I'm working for the same engineering firm my wife works for. This week I started my new role as a drafter. Fortunately, I've been trained well on Computer Aided Drafting. Unfortunately, it was 12 years ago. But I'm starting to pick it back up... slowly.

MY HOUSE IS SYSTEMATICALLY SELF-DESTRUCTING
Hmm... like homeowner like house? Anyways. Here's what has gone on the fritz in the last 5 days:
1. A/C Unit
2. Washing Machine
3. Garbage Disposal
4. "Low" on the Living Room Ceiling Fan

Thanks goodness for our home warranty!

HOW TO GET A GREAT DEAL ON A LEATHER JACKET FOR YOUR WIFE

2007-12-22T21:03:00.000-08:00

LEATHER QUEST 2007

I went shopping for my wifes Christmas gift today. Four stores and 3 hours later, I emerged from the mass of humanity that is the Christmas rush, victorious in my quest for some sweet gear for the wife unit.

As you have probably ascertained from the title of this post, Mr. Smarty Pants, she got a leather jacket. And no, I'm not worried about spoiling the surprise. Being the 12 year olds that we are, Andrea and I couldn't wait until Christmas to share our gifts with each other, so we pulled them out after we got the kids to bed tonight. We're just cool like that.

Anyways, about two hours into Mission: Leather Acquisition, I was about to concede defeat. Even more frustrating is that this was the only good gift idea I had. Plan B was.. well, there was no plan B. It was this or a bottle of soap from Bath and Body Works. I had stopped by 3 other places and telephoned 2 trying to find leather jackets, and they either a.) didn't have any or 6.) the ones they did have were lame. My last stop was Kohls.

I found some jackets there, but none were what I was looking for. Undaunted, I kept digging. I found another stash of leather jackets on the back wall, and that's when I spotted it hanging in all its lambskin glory. And on sale, to boot! My elation quickly waned, however, when I found that they were all medium in size, and my wife is but a wee little girl. But alas, I finally dug and found the last remaining small and grabbed it like a soccer mom on a cabbage patch doll in 1983. When I looked it over, I found that it had some scuffs on it. Minor scuffs, but scuffs nonetheless. Two clerks and one general manager later, I had an additional 15% off my little animal skin. All told, I got 75% off the original price.

So, I gotta give it up to myself. My wife was impressed not only by my thoughtfulness and impeccable fashion sense, but my fiscal responsibility as well. Hello bonus points.

I gotta give it up to my sweetie, too. She got me a sweet Manhasset PORTABLE music stand. EXTREMELY thoughtful on her part. I'm ALWAYS needing a stand, and now I have one of my very own. How cool is that.

TOP GUITAR RIFFS OF ALL TIME

2007-12-21T22:47:00.000-08:00

DISCLAIMER: This post deals with subject matter that some might find objectionable - namely: rock music. Please note that, now that I am a committed Christian, this is simply a memory to me, and I would never listen to anything of this nature now. For me, it's Michael W. Smith or nothing at all. In addition, I am by no means condoning or promoting any of the content that may be contained within the lyrics of the songs listed - just appreciating the musicality & skill of talented -heathen, but talented- guitarists.

THE ORIGINS

Yesterday at work, a lunch conversation topic spilled over into an afternoon of reminiscing and air-guitarring:

What are the greatest guitar riffs of all time?

We came up with some pretty interesting stuff, so I thought I'd share and get feedback. If you have a riff you'd like to see added to the list, shoot me an email or comment. Let's make a game of it, yo!

Now, before we get started, we need to cover a couple things.

THE RULES

1.) Know the diff between a solo and a riff.

A SOLO is a guitar part that usually comes in the middle of a song, but sometimes in the beginning or end or other strange places. It's like a song within a song, and lasts several measures. A RIFF on the other hand, is just a few measures long, and is usually repeated and/or variated throughouth the course of a song.

POR EXEMPLO: The end of HOTEL CALIFORNIA by the Eagles (original version) is a SOLO. The opening four measures of CRAZY TRAIN by Ozzy is a RIFF. Capisce? And remember, too: There are a LOT of really great songs that don't have a really strong riff. That's OK, it's still a great song.Just not quite great enough for this list.

2.) Think about it before you type it.

Is it really worthy of "all-time" status? There's a lot of good riffs out there, but we're looking for the truly GREAT. So just think.. 'bout what you're trying to do to me.

OK, with that said... let the list begin.

THE LIST

Barracuda by Heart
Beat It by Michael Jackson
Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne
Day Tripper by The Beatles
Don't Look Back by Boston
Enter Sandman by Metallica
Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Layla by Derek and the Dominoes
Money by Pink Floyd
Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple

Sunshine of Your Love by Cream

Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses

Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Voodoo Chile by Jimi Hendrix
Walk This Way by Aerosmith -submitted by Schmantao
Hitch a Ride by Boston - submitted by Anonymous

Feel free to add worthy Riffs, or comment on what we came up with.

And feel free to air guitar yourself silly as you rock down memory* lane.

*see, like I said.. it's all a distant memory

LOS CABOS REVIEW

2007-12-20T21:43:00.001-08:00

THE SITUATION
Last Tuesday was our company Christmas party. It was a group of about 80 - 100, and we met in the banquet room in the back of the Los Cabos at Riverwalk Crossing in Jenks. It was my first time to eat there.

INITIAL IMPRESSIONS
Nice atmosphere. A lot of times, banquet rooms at restaurants are over-lit and a bit institutional, but this had a very warm atmosphere. It was also well decorated with some neat architectural features like a cool ceiling treatment and big picture windows along the outside wall that overlooked the river. The lighting was a bit dim, which is my personal preference, but I could imagine some people complaining. If you need bright, cheery lights in your restaurant, I suggest McDonalds. Dim lighting reminds me of old, fancy steakhouses. And I really like old, fancy steakhouses.

The chairs and tables were comfortable, and pretty well spaced so that we weren't just absolutely crammed in there. And, as a point of reference, I'm 6'2" and 300+ lbs, so when I say the seating was comfortably spaced, it means something: It means "agoraphobics beware".

SERVICE
Can't remember our server's name, but he did a good job. Kudos to LC for staffing enough people to actually handle the crowd. One of my primary benchmarks for good service is that my drink should never be empty for more than 60 seconds. Our guy did a pretty decent job of keeping me hydrated, and there were very few times I went more than a minute without cola refreshment. Now, since this was a Mexican restaurant, one of my other benchmarks is the state of my chips and salsa. Again, there should be ample supplies of BOTH in concurrency. Don't jack with my emotions by bringing out a big, hot basket of fresh chips, and then leave me salsa-less. Again, our boy did a good job of that. Especially considering the load he was dealing with.

SETUP
First, the chips and salsa - Excellent. The chips were the thin kind, freshly fried, and I never once got a soggy or petrified chip. Good consistency. The salsa was heavy on the garlic, but for me, that gets you extra points. It helps me ward off the vampire stalker that's after me. The texture of the salsa was good, too. Not too watery, not too saucy, not too chunky.

ENTREE'
For my entree', I ordered the beef fajitas.
EXCELLENT. Probably the best fajitas I've ever had. Honestly.
With fajitas, it's all about the meat. Well, OK, with ANY meal, it's pretty much all about the meat, unless you're a vegan, then it's all about the radishes, or whatever. But for me, it's the meat. And this meat was righteous. Zero Chewiness. It tasted like they slow cooked it before they grilled it. It just melted in your mouth, and it was well seasoned - just enough to accentuate the taste of the steak but not overpower it. They really let the meat speak for itself.

Now, if there were some negative points to be given on service, it would be here. Specifically, the setup and sides for my fajitas.

First, I ordered the boraccho beans, I got black beans. Second, I didn't get my fajita fixin's with my order and had to ask for them. Not big problems in my book (especially considering the size of the group), but dings on the score, nonetheless.

One reason it wasn't that bigga deal is because a.) the black beans tasted awesome and b.) I had a huge amount of beef to consume, so I didn't really miss the cheese and sour cream on the first round. One other thing: The setup didn't include guacamole. VERY disappointing, since I love guac on... everything. But again, massive amounts of quality beef make up for little omissions like that. And there were massive amounts of quality beef.

DESSERT
Since we were a large group, we had a limited selection of desserts. The choices were... cheesecake.

Now, we did have our choice of margarita cheesecake, pumpkin cheesecake, or peanut butter cheesecake, but that was it. I got the margarita (NOT made with real margaritas), Andrea got the peanut butter.

Both were painfully lacking.

Now, in their defense, I think I've been a little jaded by The Cheesecake Factory. Now that they've opened a restaurant in town, a new standard has been set as to what a cheesecake in Tulsa should be. But even with a handicap factored in, these were really bad cheesecakes. Mine was horrible. It hardly had any taste at all, it was small, and the crust was dried out. Andrea's tasted a little better, but it didn't really taste like cheesecake. It tasted like one of those Jell-o wannabe cheesecakes you get a the grocery store. It, too, was in miniature scale.

I'm hoping this was an isolated incident, and I certainly wouldn't rule out a restaurant for it's dessert. Remember: It's all about the beef. But; if they're going to compete, they need to make sure the desserts knock it out of the park as well as the fajitas do.

PRICING
Since it was on the company's dime, I had to get on the internet to look at the prices. It looks like the average entree' is about $12, and they range from $8.99 for some cheese enchiladas, to $18.99 for a rack of ribs.

SYNOPSIS
So, I give my first experience at Los Cabos a 3.75 on the Jimmy Scale. (Much like the Richter Scale, but in relation to food instead of subterranean vibrations caused by mail retrieval.)
I gave them a few extra points because I felt like they did such a good job with a large group, but then I had to take some off for the order mix-up and the paltry desserts. Still, a solid experience, and definitely worth a return.

DONNER, PARTY OF 5

2007-12-18T22:53:00.000-08:00

THE STUBS
Tonight was the faithHighway company party at Los Cabos in Jenks. I was pretty stoked since a.) I hadn't eaten there yet and 2.) I'd be doing it on the company's dime. I'll review the joint in a later post. For now: let's discuss this little party situation.

LET'S PARTY
Pretty normal company party-type event. Take the awkwardness of hanging out with people you don't really know that well in the first place, add the fact that you're in a completely foreign situation (outside of work) where you have to carry on non-work related conversation, and then throw in your spouse who doesn't know anybody there, and you've got the makings of a real hootenanny.

It really wasn't all that bad. We were close to the Deans, whom we know, and we sat next to Mike Clark and wife, and Anila and her friend, all of which are super nice, easy-to-get-along-with-types that have interesting things to say, so it was pretty smooth.

I was quite impressed with the plethora (yes, I know what a plethora eees) of door prizes. There were gift cards for all kinds of cool stuff: coffee, steaks, food, merchandise...

I won a foot detoxification.

Yeah. I'm totally not down with that. Lucky for me, Kristin wanted to swap somebody for her "hideaway pizza" bucks. I will take a TOXIC PIZZA over a DETOXIFIED FOOT any day.

TWELVE DAYS OF THE OFFICE
The Media Outreach and Media Agency Teams both made videos for the praty. Mark Boyett headed up the MO vid, which was the FH 12 Days o' Christmas. Quality stuff. Even more quality was Kenny's (the COO of the company) complete disregard for our taped pleas for Christmas Eve off. I'm tellin' ya, don't let Ken-bo fool you. Under that soft-spoken, kind-hearted, nice-guy exterior is one hardened sucka that'd assume kill you as say "hello" in the hall. Chuck Norris quivers in his presence.

The MA did their own version of "the Office", which -if you're a fan- was funny. If you're NOT a fan, it was probably pretty pointless. But, that's what you get for being totally lame and not watching the funniest show on television.

LET ME RE-ITTERATE MY HATRED FOR WAL-MART
After the party, we needed to finish up some Christmas shopping. Guess who's open at 10:00pm? You guessed it... China-Mart. So, adorned in very uncomfortable clothes, we headed to the evil empire of low-prices to get some gear. Found some pretty cool stuff, but alas, you'll have to wait until after Christmas to find out what we got. Don't want to take the chance of spoiling the surprise, now do we?

But, I still hate Wal-Mart. What we did NOT find were Christmas Cards that were not lame (not that I'm surprised) and we also did NOT find a clean bathroom. (again, no surprise)

But let's move on...

Ok, well, actually, let's just end this post.

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

2007-12-01T22:21:00.001-08:00

We watched Transformers tonight with the Antao's.
Fun Flick. I wish I would've forked over the cash to see it on the big screen. I can imagine the impact of the visuals would have been greatly increased. I was terribly impressed by the special effects. They seemed so... complicated.

Yes, the storyline was weak.
Yes, the acting was, at times, painfully cheesy
Yes, it was violent.
Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

If you go to see a movie based on a line of children's toys expecting a deep plot, you deserve every ounce of disappointment you ingest along with your overpriced popcorn. As soon as the opening credits rolled "IN ASSOCIATION WITH HASBRO", I think you can pretty much expect a snub from the academy. Seriously.

But it was a fun movie: Huge robot fights, government cover-up conspiracies, Arctic Expeditions, John Turturro, and the nerdy guy not only got the incredibly attractive girl, but a 2009 Camaro to boot. A Camaro that, if need be, can turn into a killer robot and destroy your small army. Everybody needs one of those.

Did anybody else notice that the only robot to "not make it" was the "token stereotypical portrayal of an African-American" robot? The black guy ALWAYS gets killed. How lame.

LIFEPOINT LOGO

2007-11-19T22:21:00.000-08:00

After much deliberation, I think we've finally chosen our logo. There's still a few tweaks to be made, but here's the general idea. I'm excited. Even though I'm not 100% happy with my "glass" effect, the logo turned out even better than when I originally conceived it. In the word's of Shrek: That'll do, donkey. That'll do.

THREE MONTHS GONE

2007-11-16T07:12:00.000-08:00

It was three months on Wednesday since my dad passed away. I called mom to see how she was doing yesterday. Actually, I'm lying. I called because I had been thinking about dad.

One of the things that my father left me was an innate desire to change the world. Whether it be through alternative energy sources, innovative automobile design, or some other invention or discovery that, hypothetically, could have a culture-altering, paradigm-shifting impact on society, my dad was always searching for a way to make a difference in the lives of others, and subsequently in the life of his family.

He was the epitome of a dreamer. The vast majority of the dreams never came to fruition, but that's OK, I guess. The exercise in itself was entertaining enough.

Anyways, yesterday I had one of those world-changing, culture-altering, paradigm-shifting, innovative societally impactful ideas, and I thought about calling Dad to run it by him. But then I remembered that I couldn't. So I called mom.

Ironically enough, when I told mom what I had been thinking about, she told me that Dad had actually had the same idea 20 years ago and had gone so far as to attend some seminars on the subject. I chuckled. Of COURSE he did. I'm sure this is a sign that my reluctant transformation into my father is nearing completion.

Anyone who is very close to me knows that I truly despise the fact that I emulate many of the less-than-admirable qualities that my father possessed. However, the one quality I proudly embrace was his gift for dreaming. For that, I'm thankful. Maybe some day I'll change the world. Even more importantly, I hope that someday I can look at my daughters and see the same dreams in their eyes that I recieved from my father.

I miss you dad.

TOO RANDOM TO TITLE

2007-11-13T21:19:00.000-08:00

HAVE BIBLE WILL PREACH

Last Sunday I had the opportunity to preach at South Lakewood, our sponsoring church. After being viciously attacked the week before by a certain individual who's initials are Joshua King. (well, in all honesty it wasn't really a vicious attack, but it was definitely a bit catty) I think brother Woodard had sympathy on me, and wanted to give me the opportunity to defend my honor. Anyways, it was a lot of fun. I ALWAYS appreciate the chance to preach, and really dug getting to catch the view from the pulpit of my favorite sponsoring church.

SOONER RATHER THAN LATER

We've officially moved the Lifepoint Launch date up to Easter (I hope I'm not breaking this prematurely), with preview services starting in January. I think this is what God would have us to do, but it really puts everything into high gear. Actually, everything was ALREADY in high gear, so now I guess it's more like we've installed a turbo and a 2400 stall converter with some street slicks in the back and a performance clutch. Man I miss having a hot rod.

Last week we had another launch team meeting, and had yet another new face. It's really exciting to see all the interest in what God is doing in Owasso. I met someone today waiting for an elevator that overheard me talking about the new church and started asking about it, because she lived in Owasso. Very encouraging, indeed. I think God has got some mad huge plans for this town. I'm so excited to be a part of it.

JUST AN OBSERVATION

On the way home, there's a billboard advertising the new dentist's office that just opened in )Owasso: Modern Day Dental. It's great to see new businesses like that coming in, but I know the guys over at Medieval Days Dental must be really miffed.

NOT DOROTHY'S DOG

I'm going to say it: TOTO Rocks. Let me list off a few memory joggers there for ya: Hold the Line. Rosanna. Africa. Yeah.. all TOTO baby. If you're nerdy enough like me, look em' up on Wikipedia. These guys are just some amazing musicians. Por Exemplar: Steve Lukather, the lead guitarist, has played on over 800 number one albums. How many number one albums have YOU played on? That's what I thought.

PANDORA'S BOX OF AWESOME

There's a little online music player called Pandora, and it's the product of the Music Genome Project. Pretty impressive little set up. I encourage you to check it out. You're life will be altered in a way that you will never again return to an ordinary life. Yeah; It's just that good. Happy Birthday.

WEEKEND GIG AND HOUSE PARTY IV

2007-11-05T22:21:00.000-08:00

DENISON, LIKE VENISON

This weekend I got to play/speak at a youth event at Woodlawn BC in Denison. Great fun. Kevin Higgins is a great host, and they had a great turnout. This is the second such youth event they've had at one of the area churches, and the pastors seem to really have a heart for making this something great for the youth.

The kids really sang out during the praise set, and actually listened to most of the message. Obviously they've had some kind of mind-control device implanted. Very impressive. I'm still paying off lawsuits from when I tried that with my youth group.

THE CHANGING OF THE PLANS

It was originally supposed to be a family thing for me, hauling the kiddos and the wife down for the weekend. However, with the applesaucity of my life, it went from a weekend stay with the family into to a one night showing of the two-man semi-acoustic jam with Dustin & Jimmy. I can't complain about getting to jam with DKM, and the wife and kids got a much needed break from the road. Although, I must admit, having Dustin fall asleep on my shoulder on the way home was kind of awkward.

I LOVE/HATE JARED BRANSCUM

As we're loading up and leaving for the night, we notice J.B. walking towards his car: A 2006 Mustang GT. A test-drive quickly ensued. Jared was gracious (and foolish) enough to let me behind the wheel of the best offering Ford has put forth since the 60's. It was my first time behind the wheel of the new Pony series, and I must say 'twas a pleasurable one. The critics can say what they will; But this car handles like it's on rails and takes you to the speed limit in a very respectable amount of time. (and some tell me it goes even faster than that!) Very fun to drive. Plus, you can change the color of your dash lights. What else could you want?

So, I love JB for letting me drive his sweet ride: I hate him for stirring up my foolish lust for things that go fast.

NEW ROOMIES

We've had a great new, though temporary addition to the Hammond household. While they are getting their RV Trailer set-up on their property (on which they are constructing a more permanent residence), Dustin & Tiffany Mitchell are staying in the "guest suite" (aka the garage).

It works out great. They have a place to stay, and their sleeping bags keep a nice shine on the hood of the car. JUST KIDDING: I'm not making them sleep on top of the car. We're letting them sleep in the backseat.

EMPHASIS ON "SPORADICALLY"

2007-10-30T21:31:00.000-07:00

Just a quick little update for the two of you who are checking.

THE JOB
faithHighway is going well. I am currently an "appointment setter", which is a notch below a real salesperson. Kind of like the "hazed pledge" period before you're officially admitted into the fraternity. Except there's no beer. Or parties. Or communal showers. However, there is one similarity; I still don't go to my early classes.

Right now I'm in the lead for most appointments set. I can't say that I'm surprised. It's quickly becoming apparent that I am a golden child of sorts, and I'm expecting this to garner me large sums of money in the near future.

THE FAMILY
Doing pretty well. We went and visited my mom last weekend. It's the first time we've seen her since Dad passed away. She's doing alright, but I can tell that it gets to her quite a bit. There was a lot of security having him around, and now that's gone. I really wish I was closer. She did buy a new vehicle, though. A new Honda CRV to replace the run-down, mass-produced domestic, I-consume-enough-fuel-on-my-way-to-work-to-power-Elbonia-for-a-week, high-mileage smokewagon of a truck. I was proud.

As far as immediate family, the baby is growing like mad, as well as Anna. I'm so in love with those two girls I can barely contain myself. What a joy.

THE CHURCH
Very exciting stuff. We are going to start having "preview" services in January, and launch on Easter Sunday. Until January, we're having launch team meetings to start preparing us for the "real thing". It's really close: and there's more work to do than I can imagine right now; but I am so terribly stoked to get this baby rollin'. It's going to so totally rock.

Well, it'sa gettin' late, and I have to get up way before the sun, so I'll try to update more later. Till then... keep it fake, yo.

WEDNESDAY WRAP UP

2007-10-12T05:24:00.000-07:00

THE LAST STAND
This Wednesday was my last as youth pastor of FSBC. It was pretty emotional for me, to be honest, though I tried my best to keep it light. I kept everything pretty much "normal" (whatever THAT means) with some P&W and a lesson.

I did extend the P&W time, though, which is kinda funny. After about the 3rd song, everyone really started to sing out. That last 3 or 4 songs were just awesome because most everyone was actually singing. The reason that's funny is because usually I just do about 3 songs, and nobody hardly sings. And, since nobody sings, I never thought to do MORE songs. But, sure enough, the day I do the extra songs, I learn that it takes 3 songs to get everyone warmed up.

Who knew.

One of my students brought me a cheesecake from "the Factory". I almost cried.

BITTERSWEET REALITY CHECK
I am extremely sad to be leaving this youth group. Seriously. These are some fantastic kids, and I have made some great friendships. But, at the same time, the finality of my time at FSBC is increasing the reality of the next chapter in our lives: Lifepoint Baptist Church. I am extremely STOKED to be planting this church. Seriously.

WHAT-A-WEEKEND

2007-10-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

DELUGE
Tuesday night Doug and I started our journey to Atlanta for the Catalyst Con. Our goal was to make Little Rock, or maybe even Memphis on Tuesday night. Unbenownst to us, however, was the fact that a monsoon had moved into western Arkansas. We gave up at Russelville.

WHY FLY WHEN YOU CAN DRIVE?
We got up at the crack of 10:00 in the morning on Wednesday, grabbed some sweet waffle house action, and continued our journey sans rain. Man, Atlanta is a long drive. I've renewed my commitment to get my pilot's license.

CATALYST
Thursday and Friday was the actual conference. Great time. We heard some awesome (and a few mediocre) speakers. A few personal awards I'd give out if anybody cared:
THE ONE-FUNNY-CAT AWARD: Lanny Donoho
THE LETS-GET-FIRED-UP AWARD: Francis Chan
THE TOO-COOL-FOR-SCHOOL AWARD: Rick Warren
THE JIMMY-HAS-A-MANCRUSH-ON-YOU AWARD: Andy Stanley
THE YOU-MAKE-MY-A.D.D.-LOOK-WEAK AWARD: Pat Lencioni

DEPUTIZE ME
On our way back home, we made two stops on Sunday to present the work. The first was Marion, AR. Awesome, awesome story behind this very young church. I will share it soon. The second was Unity in Little Rock. Mark Harris, an MBSF guy from the old days is the pastor there, and we had a great time visiting with him and his church. We really wanted to hang with them after services (they're MBSF director invited us to go eat) but nay, I'm an old man now, and had to be at work at 7:30am the next day, so we headed on our way. How lame is THAT?!

AMAZING GRACE

2007-10-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

I SAW HIM IN PERSON

Wintley Phipps showed up at CATALYST, and they gave him the stage. It was amazing. He did basically the same thing you see here. The video does not do it justice. It was even more phenomenal live.

NEW JOB

2007-10-06T19:05:00.000-07:00

SNOOP BOBBY BOB GOTS A JOBBY JOB
For those of you that might NOT know, I'm leaving FSBC to help plant a church in Owasso, Oklahoma. It's a pretty decent little step of faith, since I knew that I would have to go back into the "secular" world of work (whatever that means), and leave my very much awesome ministry position at FSBC.

Knowing I was going to eventually need to get a "normal" job, on a whim I applied for a "media consultant" job at faithHighway a few weeks ago. I had seen the ad on Craigslist, and it looked like something I was qualified for, and even sounded relatively interesting. So, I threw together a little resume' and emailed it in.

And a crazy thing happened. They hired me.

Not only did they hire me, but they asked me to start immediately.

WE WERE STARTING TO GET BORED ANYWAYS
As though my life wasn't hectic enough with the moving / church planting / new baby thing, now we're going to throw a new, unexpected job situation in the mix. Originally, I had planned to stay at FSBC until year's end, but after a lot of hard praying, Andrea and I decided it would be best if I went ahead and resigned. So, this next Sunday will be my last Sunday at FSBC. We're not real sure where God is taking us on this journey, but it's certainly going to be interesting.

SO FAR SO GOOD
Even though I've mostly just been in training, I'm really enjoying faithHighway. The company is a Christian-owned company that works exclusively for churches, so it's not really much of a "secular" job. It's really been great. Every Monday we have a company devotional, and every Wednesday we have company P&W. Plus, every morning we spend the first 15 minutes in personal devotional time. Not too shabby of a dealio.

NEED TO GROW YOUR CHURCH?
So, if you want to use some sweet media action for your church (commercials, websites, direct mailers, promo materials), you know who to call. Jimmy, that's who.

AND JUST SO YOU KNOW...
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

WE ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED

2007-09-14T19:29:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY MORNING NINE AYE EM
We closed on our new house! YAY! Everything went really smooth. Our Realtor even bought us DONUTS! Service like that makes it EASY to spend tens of thousands of dollars.

Jason and Tracy will be coming up monday and tuesday to help move, and we've scored NOT ONE, but TWO enclosed trailers to move with. I don't know if we'll actually USE both, but we definitely gots the hook-up.

Now, if we could just get started packing!

NEW BABIES, HOUSES, AND NO-WIN GAMES

2007-09-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

KARA AND BILL
Update please? I haven't heard from them yet, but Kara and Bill are having their baby today. YAY!!!

HOME OWNERSHIP DRAWETH NIGH
Tomorrow morning Andrea and I close on our new house. Very exciting. Tomorrow evening we have to start packing and moving. Not so exciting.

NO-WIN GAME
My cowboys play Troy, AL tomorrow evening. What a pointless game. I have to concur with some of the sports radio guys: This is really a no-win situation for the Cowboys. If we win, then whoopty doo. We're SUPPOSED to win, and it does nothing for our standings. Basically, a virtually meaningless win. BUT... and this is a BIG BUT... Troy is a decent team. If we don't play well and take care of the ball, these guys could plausibly pull out a win. So then, if we LOSE, then we've taken a W that could potententially be the beginning of a long, painful season. I think Georgia, Texas, OU, Tech, and A&M are plenty to fill our plate.

BTW

2007-09-11T20:44:00.000-07:00

JUST IN CASE YOU FORGOT
Today is the 6th anniversary of the September 11th Terrorist Attacks on the World Trade Center. No matter your political affiliation or moral stance, we suffered a horrific attack that took hundreds upon hundreds of innocent fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, sons, and daughters away from their loved ones. The lucky ones died instantly, quickly, before they even knew what happened. Most did not.

THE FLASH GOES OFF IN MY HEAD
Thinking about 9/11/01 made me think of some of the other most memorable moments of my lifetime. The memory's hierarchy is an amazing thing.

The Shuttle Disasters
Ronald Reagan's election
Ronald Reagan's attempted assasination
Henry Blake's death (not a real event, but moving nonetheless)
Ronald Reagan's funeral
Tiananmen Square
The Berlin Wall
The Russian Submarine Disaster
Thriller
Baby Jessica
The unveiling of the renovated Statue of Liberty
September 11th, 2001

What memories do you have indelibly etched into your memory?

MOMMA'S NIGHT OUT

2007-09-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

OPPORTUNITY RINGS

Andrea had the chance after dinner to go have coffee and hang out with a good friend. She's been working very hard, and with the stress of moving / changing jobs / launching a church / raising children / finding daycare / raising husband, she's really drained. So, without hesitation, I agreed to watch the kids while she went out. I hope she had a great time. I'm sure they are, right now, enjoying a great conversation over a couple of sweetened coffee drinks.

That's nice.

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE FARM...

EVANGELISM SURVEY

2007-09-08T12:46:00.000-07:00

LESS THAN OVERWHELMING
I posted a survey for my students to take regarding their evangelism habits. While several have responded, most have not. So, in order to get a better cross-section of different people's evangelism habits, I'm posting the same link here.

A MONKEY COULD DO IT
It's only 10 questions long, so you can be done in about 15 seconds. And, there's no personally identifiable info collected, so if you're a veteran pastor who never evangelizes, I'll never know. Except for the fact that your church is totally lame, but I'm sure that's the music guy's fault, not yours you no-great-commission-keepin' mug.

DO IT! BOTH OF YOU! NOW!
So, for the 3 people that read my blog, I would appreciate it greatly if you'd help a brother out here and do my little survey thingy. While you're at it, tell me what you think of it, or go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/ and make you're own stinkin' survey.

Click Here to take survey

LAWS THAT WOULD HAVE GREATLY DECREASED MY TIME AT COUNTY

2007-09-07T22:00:00.001-07:00

1. Any highway consisting of four or more lanes that is experiencing a traffic load of less than 10 cars per mile automatically has the speed limit raised 20 mph over the posted limit.

2. Any high school student who displays an unreasonable amount of poor attitude or lack of manners while working at the drive-through window of an eating establishment will not be allowed to file assault or attempted-assault charges against any person who might happen to crawl out of their own vehicle and through the aforementioned drive-through window.

3. All clothing stores will respect those of girth and alititude by stocking ample supplies of big AND tall clothing sizes. Retail clerks at said clothing stores shall also not be allowed to make clever quips about customer's sizing issues, even if they think the customer cannot hear. Furthermore, aforementioned clerks shall be trained to catch clothing hangers that happen to fly towards them at excessive speeds.

4. All restaurants and eating establishments built south of the Mason-Dixon line shall serve freshly brewed sweetened tea. Waitstaff at said establishments shall not point to any containers of sugar or sugar packets placed on dining tables with any type of snooty looks, remarks, or general attitude. Waitstaff will also allow aforementioned sugar containers to be hurtled at them as they walk away, and will not take any type of legal action against patrons caught throwing said containers.

5. Police officers assigned to traffic duty will recieve training which will allow them to see the humor in jokes regarding their love of breakfast pastries, their "fancy" radar equipment, and the fashionability (or lack thereof) of their uniforms.

6. Objects purposely thrown from atop buildings consisting of 4 or more floors, if said objects are thrown in jest with no malicious intent, cannot be classified as "lethal weapons" in the eyes of the court.

7. Domesticated animals have no enforcible rights.

8. Drivers who impede traffic may be "bumped" or "rubbed" by other drivers.

9. Tight-fitting, elastic, or "spandex" clothing may not be worn in public by males, or women weighing over 130 lbs. Guilty parties should not retaliate against those who bring the infraction to their attention, no matter how "smart", witty, or cutting the manner by which the infraction is communicated.

10. Officers assigned to parking areas shall immediately cease writing and discard any ticket if parking violator returns to vehicle while violation form is being completed.

WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP

2007-09-07T07:14:00.000-07:00

I FEEL LIKE A LITTLE MAN
Has someone ever been so kind to you, so gracious, gave so selflessly, that it made you feel "small" and brought about feelings of unworthiness? That's descriptive of how I've been feeling about God lately.

My life, my family, my faith, and my circumstances have been tremendously blessed lately in a way that can only be attributed to God's handiwork. And, as I consider the truly wretched sinner I am, and all the "fault lines" so graphically evident on the landscape of my life, I am honestly humbled as I experience the amazing grace and mercy of my God.

IT'S ALMOST TOO GOOD
Hence the title of this blog. In my wickedness, I postulate that God must obviously be preparing a big dump truck of bad things to unload onto my life in order to explain all the GOOD I'm experiencing now. But, then I remember the scripture that says, basically, that if we wretched sinners know to give good gifts to our children, how much MORE the perfect, loving God we serve wants to give good gifts to HIS children. So, I live with the hope that this is simply the perfect father blessing his children simply because he loves them.

Even though I probably deserve the dumptruck.

FILL IN THE JOKE

2007-09-05T20:58:00.000-07:00

YES, I'M ON SOMETHING
I've seen some really cool blogs that really encourage their readers to interact with their posts by filling out a survey, or by posing some deep thought or question. I'm too lazy and shallow to do those two things, but I wanted to do something to elicit more responses from my MASSIVE readership.

THE GAME
I'm going to post a PUNCHLINE. Leave a comment with your best JOKE to go along with the punchline. (Feel free to enter as many as you can come up with). At the end of an undetermined amount of time, I'll very scientifically judge which ones are the funniest, and you'll win cash and prizes valued at nothing. Sounds awesome.. I know. Here goes.

THIS WEEK'S PUNCHLINE
"Do you eat like this all the time?"

Happy joking!

CASA NUEVO

2007-09-01T14:00:00.000-07:00

CONTRACTUALLY YOURS
A few weeks ago, Andrea and I went house shopping in Owasso. We were trying to be really, really cheap, but found that in order to be really cheap in the Owasso area, one must be willing to live in a residence with wheels attached to it (not that there's anything wrong with that) or be willing to have dirt floors. We were not inclined to do either , so we upped our price range by a few grand and, just happened to find our dream house. Well, not THE dream house overlooking the ocean with the garden labyrinth, petting zoo and go-kart track, but something we both were very excited about. After a short game of offer / counter-offer / counter-counter-offer, we put a contract down on what we hope to be our new home. YAY!

INSPECTORS GADGETS
Last week we had the house officially inspected. It was cool b/c we got to see it again, and we saved $50 by paying the guy immediately rather than at closing. This guy was the most thorough inspector I have ever seen. He missed nothing, which was great for us: But I kinda feel for the homeowner. She's got a lot of work to do! BUH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!

ALL I'VE GOT IS A PHOTOGRAPH
While the inspections were going on, I snapped a few shots of the house. Check it out, and tell us how awesome it is. I know; your jealousy is thinly veiled.

DON'T MIND IF I DEW

2007-08-27T10:17:00.000-07:00

DAERB ARENAP
That would be panera bread spelled backward, and that's where I am right now, enjoying an ice cold Dew of the Mountain. I'm almost looking forward to my pending eviction from my current office space (I doubt they'll let me stay once I resign), just so that I have an excuse to "office" here more often. I have to admit, it makes me feel VERY hip. All I need now is a Vespa to ride around on.

PROS
Other than feeling tragically hip, there's one thing that makes the Panera Office great: FREE REFILLS. An endless flow of refreshment is never more than a few steps away. Plus, the smell of freshly baked goods and low din of a busy sandwich shop is a nice atmosphere, usually. And, to be honest, I've found there to be much fewer distractions here than my current space. I'll just leave it at that.

CONS
I love PB's food. Normally you would think that's a good thing, but the problem is that it's a bit on the pricey side. Por Exemplo, I just laid down $8 (I hope Andrea doesn't read this :-D) for lunch; a half salad/half turkey lurkey sandwich. They were koala tea, no doubt, but I like to keep my lunches in the $0-$5 range.

RECAP
It's been an interesting weekend. Friday was the Friday Night Thing at FSBC, Saturday was the Owasso Launch Team Meeting, and then Sunday evening I had the opportunity to preach. I did a sermon on Noah, and how to be a standout for God. I appreciate Kurt for his help in preparing the message.

BLOGGER DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL
I shouldn't admit things like this, but I didn't really seriously prepare for it until Sunday afternoon. I'm not advocating that behavior, because this "last-minute" prep has backfired on me before, but sometimes it really forces me to speak from my heart and not my head, and it also forces me to not over-preach by over-preparing. It was very much to the point, and was on something very simple, yet something I felt passionate about.

DISCLAIMER
Again, I do not advocate this sort of thing. Especially to those just beginning in public speaking. Like I said, this has backfired horribly on me before, and the message I had barely prepared turned into an hour-long ramble fest. However, I am at the point in my career where I am (usually) much more comfortable speaking, have developed a passion for my "message", and had the opportunity to hone my speaking ability to the point that near-extemporaneous speaking isn't AS scary as it used to be.

ANALYZE THIS
With that being said, I really don't think last nights message had as much to do with my skill as a speaker as it did my openess to the Spirit. I don't really KNOW how the message sounded as far as presentation, because I haven't heard it yet, but it received an above-average response. So, of course, I want to know why so that I can continue to improve my effectiveness as a speaker. We can rule out prep time, because there really wasn't any. So why did this message bring more response than others? Again, I believe it's the all the Holy Spirit. I think several factors played into my being at a heightened sensitivity to the Spirit than I usually am. All three are due to events that have transpired / are transpiring in this particular chapter of my life.

1.) FATIGUE. I haven't been getting much sleep. This isn't necessarily good for my overall health, but fatigue often helps with creativity and abstract thinking. It's an old "trick" from my days as an art student. Many fought "creative block" with alcohol, but many of us non-alcoholics (or too-poor-to-be-alcoholics) would simply go 2-3 days without sleep. The left brain, in essesnce, says "this is stupid, I'm going to sleep" and checks out of the thought processes, leaving the right brain to run free with the PlayStation and the Easy Cheese.

2.) EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY. I'm much more open with my emotions lately. I'm sure it's just the highly emotional situations I've been in, but I think it definitely played a part. This manifested itself in that, as I was speaking, I noticed that my intensity was a little higher than expected.

3.) PRAYED UP. I've also been visiting the prayer department quite a bit lately, and consequently the faith level has been elevated. I think this is probably the most powerful component of my seemingly well-received message on Sunday. It's simple - If you're in tune with God, it's a lot easier to speak on His behalf. I really should try that more often. :-D

Both of my readers are encouraged to comment freely with your thoughts.

LIFEPOINT & TUCK

2007-08-25T19:56:00.000-07:00

LAUNCH TEAM MEETING
Today we had our August Launch Team Meeting. It was great to be IN Owasso for the first time. Doug scored a great place to meet: The Library. I'm sure he's blogged about the details of it, so I won't repeat it here. Dustin did a great job (as usual) leading worship, and I did an awesome job NOT getting the powerpoint to work properly until after the music was over. Doug did an awesome job presenting vision, and Marnie did a great job by bringing a Meat Tray and cookies. We only had 10 at this meeting, but hopefully next month we can get everyone who has committed together.

CLOSING THE HOUSE
Barring any unforeseen circumstances, we'll close on our house on Monday, September 14th. We are SOOOO excited to be homeowners again. Plus, it's just a phat pad, which will be awexome to the 8th degree. It's not that I don't like the obnoxiously loud people above us in our apartment, but I really don't like the obnoxiously loud people above us in our apartment. And the fact that I don't have a yard. Or a garage. Or the amount of living space I desire. Or a back porch. This is going to be awesome.

FRIDAY NIGHT THING
Last night we had our first FNT of the Fall Semester. We had about 30 in attendance, and had a pretty good time. Max brought his XBox (which we projected onto the wall), and we played some "BACK TO SCHOOL" games. Homeroom was "Duck Pig Cow", English was "Charades", Speech was "Gossip", Biology was "Avocado Dissection", Study Hall was "Hangman", and Gym Class was "Chariot Races" (Ashley Johnson's Team won). Everybody seemed to have a great time, and much pizza was consumed. I also came close to passing out from playing about 10 minutes of 2 on 2 with D-Qwon, Drewcifer, and the Germanic Beast. (Cedar Hills 2006 3-on-3 Champions)

THEY TORE IT DOWN

2007-08-16T13:03:00.000-07:00

Being home for a few days to make arrangements for my Dad's funeral has afforded me the "opportunity" to drive by many of the landmarks of my childhood. I know everyone has their own, personal version of this story, but here's mine.

FAXON CITY SPEEDWAY
When I was 13 years old, my mother worked for Fletcher Transfer and Storage in Lawton. One of the owners of the company, Durwin "Fletch" Fletcher (yes, everyone really called him "Fletch"), and his son, Larry, raced mini-sprints at Dutton's Speedway in Ft. Cobb, OK and Faxon Speedway south of Lawton. Faxon speedway was less than 5 miles from our house, so one night we went out to see the races. Fletch invited us to hang out with them back at the pits. I was immediately hooked. I wanted to be a race car driver. After the races, the entire "Fletcher Racing Team" entourage would hang out, enjoy some cold beverages, and visit and share stories as they packed everything up to go home. The owner of the track would let people get out on the track afterwards to test tune their cars while the track was in a "race" condition. I would always bug Fletch to let me get behind the wheel of one of Larry's, cars (the racing stud that he was, he raced in TWO classes). Fletch never would let me (a testament to his wisdom), but one night, after he had partaken of several cold beverages, he made a deal with me. There was a "beginner's" class of racers that ran at the track. He told me that if I was serious, he'd let me drive Larry's first race car (a mini-mini-sprint, if you will) if Dad and I would take care of all the maintenance and entry fees, etc.. I was elated. My dad was skeptical. I think he figured it was the cold beverages talking. But, lo and behold, the next week, as my dad was picking mom up from work, Fletch caught dad and told him to hang on a minute so he could go get Larry's old car out of storage there at the warehouse.

A RACING LEGEND IS BORN

We raced that car for a season, and then my father and I hand-built a race car that winter in the Fletcher Transfer & Storage maintenance garage after-hours. The next season, we took our new race car (which was the next class up) out on the track and raced it, I believe, for about a season and a half. My mom went back to college and we didn't have the funds to continue racing, but those 2 seasons were some of the fondest times of my life. My father and I were probably the closest we would ever be during that time. We spent hours upon hours together working on that car and planning "the next one". I also gained most of my knowledge about the Internal Combustion Engine during that time, which has come in pretty handy since then.

BTW, the last season I raced, we were only able to race about half the season b/c of extenuating circumstances (i.e., we blew 3 engines in 3 weeks...again, a whole 'nother post). I still finished 4th of about 25 in overall point standings at the end of the season because I had done so well the first part of the season. Seriously; not to boast, but I was good.

THE SHOCKING DISCOVERY

Through a strange twist of events and after a decade of living in Ardmore, my parents moved back to the house I grew up in. Yesterday we drove back to the house to get some things, and I took the route that drove us past the old speedway. I knew that it had been closed for several years. In fact, a friend of mine and I unsuccessfuly tried to contact the owner to purchase it a few years back. But today, as we approached the track, the landscape was eerily bare. The main grandstands at the track consisted of a huge mound of dirt that was capped with huge, oversized concrete "steps" that could comfortably fit your lawn chair.

It was gone.

As we got closer, so was the track.

Dirt movers stood atop the small pile of red, Oklahoma clay that remained. Everything was gone except part of the old metal building that housed the concession stand and restrooms.

I didn't cry or anything, (because I am a MAN) but I have to admit, it was a little hard to see something that represented such an awesome part of my childhood dismantled. I could probably spend a year of posting just on the memories from that place alone.

Well, that's it. Feel free to comment on your own dismantled childhood memories, and wallow with me in my self-pity. Kind of a depressing couple of posts, but c'est la vie.

MY FATHER

2007-08-15T21:10:00.000-07:00

On the morning of Tuesday, August 14th, my father passed from this life to the next. While dad has been in somewhat poor health for a while, it was a rather unexpected death. I ask that you remember my family in your prayers; especially my mother, who is understandably shaken.

I deeply appreciate everyone who has already called to lend their support, prayers, and sympathies. Unless you have experienced a loss such as this, you just cannot understand how much this kind of love and support means. Thank you all very much.

The funeral will be at Salem Missionary Baptist Church in Lawton, OK at 10:00 am on Saturday, August 18th.
He will be interred at Cheek Community Cemetery near Lone Grove, OK at 3:00 pm the same day. The funeral is being handled by Becker Funeral Home in Lawton.

Again, thank you for your prayers and support.

May we all live daily in God's grace and love.

GOLFING AT SOUTHERN HILLS

2007-08-13T13:25:00.000-07:00

THESE GUYS ARE ANIMALS
Last week I got to see some guys shoot around at SHCC. Much props to Barry Antao for scoring the tix. Even though it was 400 degrees, it was a pretty neat experience. I've never been to a golf event of ANY kind, so I'd say this was a nice introduction to the golf world. I have a much greater respect for these guys as athletes (even John "Make It A Double" Daly). We were dying in the shade. I can't imagine staying mentally and physically in the game all week out on the course.

AN OBSERVATION
I noticed there were four major categories of people that make up the galleries:

1. CAMPERS
These people bring their own chair, find a nice, shady spot with a view and close proximity to a concession stand, and then watch everyone play through. These are the people that are either a.) Retired or b.) Fanatical enough to take a day or two off just for the tournament.

2. STAR CHASERS
There's always a crowd around Tiger. Period. But, there's also always a smaller-but significant- crowd around your other big names like Singh, Mickelson, Furyk, Els, etc. These are the star-chasers that pick out the big names and follow them around all day long.

3. MOSEYS
These people will mosey around from green to green and just check out the different views available. Of course, the stands are all strategically placed so you can get a great view (usually of two greens at the same time). The only problem is that, at least this week, most of the bleachers aren't covered by any shade, and the wood kept spontaneously igniting under your rear. Not good.

4. HOMERS
The numerically smallest, but most noble of all fans. These are the folks who are fans of the non-huge name guys that will follow them around the whole course, even when they're shanking more than their making. I both pity and respect these people a great deal.

I can proudly say that Barry and I tried all four categories of golf-watching. We started out chasing Tiger, Singh, and Mickelson. Then we found a nice shady spot and camped out for a while near the 15th green. Then we browsed a few holes, and finally we plodded around with Scott Verplank for a few holes. Barry even got close enough to mumble "go pokes" while Scott was leaning over to get a bottle of water. He didn't respond on the outside, but I know inside, his Cowboy pride was swelling.

A FEW OTHER OBSERVATIONS
1. DECKING: From the time you get off the freebie charter bus to the time you get on the course, you are walking on temporary carpeted decking. I'm probably the only dork that notices things like this, but they went to the trouble to fit the decking perfectly around each tree, with a maximum 2" tolerance around the profile of the trunk. Wow, what a lot of work!

2. FROZEN LEMONADE: I have never seen so many frozen lemonade stands in my life. Every time you turn around, there's a little stainless steel cart taunting you with it's frozen $5 delights. And in 105 degree heat, it was a temptation to just grab a cart and run for freedom. Luckily I was flat broke or else I would've spent my paycheck at one of those things. Man, I love frozen lemonade.

3. SPRUNG STEEL: The PGA store, Wanamaker Tent (which I did NOT get to see the inside of), and various sponsor tents are all sprung steel structures. First off, they just look cool from the outside. Big shiny white onions. Second, I DID get to see the inside of the PGA store, it the interiors are pretty impressive as well. It's just a big tent, but it's just got a neat feel to it. Of course, part of the "feel" is the fact that it's about 40 degrees cooler inside the onion. When I walked in, I almost started getting emotional because the AC felt so awesome.

4. CALLIGRAPHERS: They manually write everyone's name on a big scoring sign as you're walking in. It's kinda neat b/c it's all fancy calligraphy-type writing. Very old school feel, and again - a very small thing that most people probably don't notice, but I thought was a kinda cool. Their are people up there all day recording scores as people finish up their rounds.

Anyways, cool experience. It makes me want to go play golf more for sure. I will DEFINITELY have to go again when it's in Tulsa and I can score free tickets!

HOLY MYSTICISM, BATMAN!

2007-08-08T23:20:00.000-07:00

Tonights lesson was on the great pyramids of Egypt. Actually, it was more about mummies. It went OK, I suppose. We had a pretty decent crowd, but definitely smaller than normal. I'm hoping that part of it was due to the fact taht school is starting tomorrow for our BA homies. I feel bad for those guys. I mean, school is alright, and as a HS student, I was usually glad to be back around my friends, but at the same time, letting go of summer was a hard thing, especially if it had been a good summer.

And it's been a good summer. At least for me. Lots of good memories. Lots of cool happenings. Lots of good friends. And it's about to end.

But, fall is awesome too. When the air gets crisp and leaves start turning, I am literally transported back to Stillwater when I was at OSU. I loved the feeling of a new school year at college. I'm not totally sure why, but I know I miss it. I really, really love college. I should seriously go back and get another degree or something.

Anyways, I totally got off track here. I had a thought I wanted to share. As I was researching tonights lesson, I remembered that I'm really fascinated by Egyptology (if that's the correct word). Mostly due to my love of of Stargate - the movie and TV Show. It's all so mystical and magical. Even though I know it's all fake and consists of a lot of false information propagated by the entertainment industry, part of me WANTS to believe that Egyptians had figured out electricity, and time travel, and anti-gravity, and all the amazing claims that have been made about them. I'm not sure why, but I think all of us are attracted to some sort of mysticism like that.

Hmmm.... let me say that again: Most EVERYONE is attracted to some sort of mysticism. Some dig Egyptology. Others dig the ancient practices of religious groups. Others are into mythology or witchcraft or you name it. Some people get real serious about it, while others just see it as entertaining. But EVERYONE has this seemingly innate fascination with mysticism.

Is it a coincidence, or could it be that it's a God-created thing inside each of us?

Don't freak out. I'm not saying that witchcraft or Egyptology have any basis in truth or that we should practice any of it: But I AM saying that I think there might be a possibility that the reason we are attracted to that SORT of thing is because God planted that desire in us when He created us.

Think about it; Of all the mystical things we could ever dream up, God is by far the most amazing, fantastic, unimaginable being ever. And we certainly don't know everything about Him. He tells us himself that His being and His activities are beyond our understanding. Now, I know that in our culture, we get uncomfortable with the idea of God being mysterious, but it doesn't make it any less true. And, I'm afraid, the reason we often have a problem with God being mysterious is because it doesn't fit nicely into our pre-constructed notions of what God should be and what He should do. It stretches us past the known and familiar and forces us to operate in the unknown and the strange. It almost seems like we try to make God into a holy 12-step program administrator rather than a mystical object of worship.

What does this mean in everyday real life? I'm not sure. But I think if we would recognize the great mystery that is our God and embrace it a little more, then we just might re-ignite some of the passion, excitement, mystery, and devotion that sometimes gets extinguished when we have God packaged so nicely in tiny little boxes. Maybe. That, or we'll start burning incense, wearing crystals around our neck and sandals on our feet, and taking mind-altering drugs. One of the two.

HIKE THE OX

2007-08-06T01:14:00.000-07:00

Took a group of the kiddos to Oxley Nature Center in Tulsa. We went hiking for a couple of hours, checked out the Nature Center, and then went back to the Ecclesia to grub.

The trail system is pretty decent at Ox-ville. There's many short runs to choose from, but they all inter-connect for the most part, so you can basically hike them all as one large trail. (There's also a longer, 2+ mile trail through the "North Woods" that we didn't make it to. We'll check it out in the future.) The trails aren't all that well marked, and many of the "trails" aren't much more than mower-paths, but they are trails nontheless, and weave you through some very nice settings. The non-signage isn't that bigga deal since they're pretty short, and there are plenty of landmarks to help you identify your location on your free, handy-dandy trail map. My only complaint would be the massive amounts of standing water which have allowed the spawning of a mega-hive of man-eating mosquitos. Sweet Moses, they were thick!

There's a couple of nice features to the trail system that we came across. They have some pretty nice (and well-maintained) bridges over several of the creeks and washouts, and a board walk that elbows through the largest marsh area. There is also an observation tower betwixt the marsh and a pond which is great for not only spotting wildlife, but air traffic from nearby Tulsa International. We got a great view of some F-16's doing touch-and-go's.

One of the trails leads right back to the rear of the nature center. It's a great looking little facility, replete with stacked stone and timber facades and well-kept landscaping and decks. Unfortunately, once inside, it was rather disappointing to find it sparsely appointed with lame, seemingly home-made displays that looked like they had been in use since the 70's. Even the contents of the gift shop were dated and very limited. However, the docent manning the center was definitely in love with her work, and was very gracious and enthusiastic with the kids. I just wish she had more to work with.

The heat and mosquitos took their toll on the kids, and we were back to the church by 12:30pm. Several us enjoyed the spoils of the previous evening's fellowships, which was a blessing since I had failed to pack a lunch for Anna and I. Another non-nature related highlight was a jack-knifed big rig on I-244. The thing that made it special is that it was jack-knifed on a bridge, with most of the trailer hanging over the edge, teetering 20 over the Mingo. I'd hate to have to explain THAT one to the dispatcher.

ONE SCORE AND TWELVE YEARS AGO...

2007-08-03T01:07:00.000-07:00

...my chubby rear entered the world, totally cheesed to be removed from it's warm and cozy previous residence.

Thirty two. (32). Triente dos. To some of you, that may sound REALLY old, and understandbly (especially if your age is half of that or less). I, too, once thought anything past 25 was geriatric. It's amazing how your perspective changes.

Other than having quit some of the "unhealthy behaviors" from that era, I feel pretty much the same way I felt when I was a 22 year old college student. The most noticable event that has increased my "feeling" my age has been the birth of my children. Mostly, because I hear more of my parents speaking through my mouth, and my parents are OLD, so that makes me feel kinda old. Other than that, I'm still 22. Actually, I'm lying: my perception of the world is much more akin to a 12 year old, but we won't explore that any further. Anyways, happy birthday to me. I wouldn't trade a second of my life for anyone else's. Thanks, God, for the best 32 years a guy could ask for.

MEXICO RECAP

2007-07-10T00:42:00.000-07:00

The following is a testimonial of sorts that I wrote for Juan after our mission trip. Every student that actually wrote one like I asked them to echoed the same thing: They were deeply impacted by their time on this trip. It was really, really an amazing experience. Anyways, I'll let the testimonial speak for itself, and give a little recap.

I was very excited for the opportunity to work with Juan and Ernesto Gallegos on a mission trip. I had heard great things about another group’s experience with them, and had some great expectations for our time together. I can sincerely say that my experience far exceeded my expectations.

First, Juan and Ernesto are men that are wholly dedicated to the work of the Kingdom. Not only do they have an unquenchable burden for the people of Mexico, but they also have a heart to teach and minister to their sister churches in the states. Their willingness to sacrifice their talents, resources, and most importantly their time to these mission trips are a testament to their passion for evangelism and ministry.

Since my Spanish is limited to what I learned from the menu at Taco Bell, most of my dealings during the week were with Brother Juan. As far as personality goes, Juan is just a fun guy to be around with. He’s very professional, organized, and easy to work with when it comes down to the business end of things, but he also has a great sense of humor. These two traits coupled together put to rest any anxiety I had about traveling for 18 hours into the heart of Mexico with him, his family, and his church.

The mission trip itself was a top-notch experience through and through. Even though our schedule experienced some shifting and changing (as mission trips tend to do), the entire week (including he amazingly long bus ride to and from) was well orchestrated. Everything from travel, meals, activities, and the VBS/Revival meetings themselves were well done with the comfort and “take home” of my students being a top priority

The most amazing part of the entire trip, however, was the excitement and awe that was planted in my students’ hearts, minds, and souls through the work of the Holy Spirit. As they ministered through Kool-aid, cookies, bead bracelets and picture frames, 30 adults and numerous young people accepted Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. The ripples created from the impact of that experience alone will be felt in the lives of these students for years to come. This too, I feel, is a testament to the work of Juan and Ernesto. God is blessing their work as they continue to “strive toward the mark of the high calling of Christ.”

Overall, our experience in Sahuayo, Tizapan, and Guadalajara was one that I know will have a life-long impact on my students, sponsors, and me. From passing out promotional flyers in the open market of a small lake-side village, to shopping and sight-seeing in one of the most impressive cities in Mexico, and from singing VBS songs in Spanish (or at least trying to) at the top of our lungs, to being serenaded by Mariachi bands, we all made memories and friendships that will quite literally last for an eternity.

As for the logistics of the trip, we traveled via borrowed shuttle bus (thanks Calvary, Tecumseh!) to Del Rio, TX. From there we took a church van into Mexico where we boarded the charter bus for Tizapan, which sits about 2 hours south of Guadalajara, on the edge of lake Chapalas. It's a small village of around 19,000, and we seemed to cause quite a stir - the group of white kids that showed up on a huge tour bus. But God caused the real stir with over 30 people professing Jesus Christ as Savior. We actually stayed in Sahuayo, a larger city about 30 minutes away from Tizapan. It was pretty cool, and we really enjoyed getting to hang out there (tons of stories out of that one) Our fun day in Guadalajara was awesome, too, and I finally got me a sweet mexican guitar!! I'm mucho excited-o. Now I just need to learn how to PLAY IT!

We made a lot of friends on the trip, and the students seemed to really bond. Of course, after spending that much time on buses together, you don't have much choice. :-D

DOS TOSTADAS, POR FAVOR

2007-07-09T00:26:00.000-07:00

I wanted to give everyone a Updato de la Mexico Mission Trip. It´s really been awesome. Our schedule has varied quite a bit (expected), but some great things have happened as a result.

The VBS is a smash hit. Sunday morning we had 78 total attendance. That afternoon we went and passed out promo flyers and that evening had 118 show up. YAY! not only that, but 4 adults accepted Christ as Savior!!!! Awesome.

This morning we had about 98 show up, and had 2 adults saved. We´re really praying for a knock out crowd tonight!

All the kids are doing amazing. Everyone has handled everything really well, and seem to be really enjoying things. We´ve got a few little stomach issues, but nothing serious.

Our surroundings are absolutely amazing! I´ll try to get some pics up soon, but I already know they just cannot do justice to the landscape surrounding us.

Welll, that´s about it for now. We gotta get back for tonights activities. I´ll try to post more later. Keep us in your prayers!

ALL ABOOOOOOARRDD!!!!!

2007-06-30T23:05:00.000-07:00

{heavy guitar}
duhn duhn
duhn duhn - duhn duhn
duhn duhn
{heavily sedated british rock star}
AIYE! AIYE! AIYE!

Going off the rails on the crazy train. That's what's happenin' here folks. It has been a mad, mad month. We started off with camp, moved right into VBS, and then finished off with the ABA meeting here in Tulsa (ABA as in American Baptist Association, not to be confused with the American Bar Association, or the American Bicycle Association) Anyways, it's been nuts. We'll blog about them in order they were recieved.

CAMP
Not bad. Had over 30 saved overall, which is always what gets you pumped about camp. I'm kind of (just kind of) depressed though. I'm not a numbers guy, by any stretch of the imagination, but I do love taking a large number to camp b/c of the tremendous potential it has to really impact their lives. Okay, it also strokes my ego to be able to get a huge group of kids together. There, I said it. Anyways, we had 70+ go from our church last year, but this year only managed around 50. Now, that's still great and all, and I'm thankful for every one of them, but it's just such a drop from last year. It kinda stirred up feelings of insecurity. But then I remembered how awesome I am, and got over it.

I was the "superintendent" of the teenage class. Whoopty ding-dong-do. That just means I taught, and was responsible for getting teachers for the other teenage classes. I really enjoyed it (the teaching part). I love to hang out with teenagers, and I love to try to get them excited about the kingdom. I did this whole "revolutionary" thing, talking about the coming kingdom and the worldwide revolution that Jesus was bringing with him at His return. I had a few kids say they really dug it, but I may have just freaked out the rest, I dunno.

Interestingly, when it came time to select teachers for next year, they put me with the college kids. Hmmm... coincidence?

VBS
I was the music director for this year's VBS. I hate to be a complainer, but I haven't really been very impressed with the music we've been getting. It just doesn't seem to connect with the kids, and it all sounds hauntingly familiar to last year's music. They did have some church's youth praise band do "contemporary" versions of the songs, but I didn't use them because a.) the sound quality wasn't all that great and II.) they didn't seem very "singable". Most of our attendees are the younger kids anyhow. And to the writer of the VBS Music, if you're reading this (and I'm just sure you are), know that I love you, and I'm sure you've got a great heart for kids and music, and are very talented, and no, this isn't a personal attack or anything of the sort. I just think songs that move a little faster, have a little more variety, and incorporate lots of movements work better for VBS. Just my humble opinion. Nothing but love, baby.

We had a lot of fun though, except that our director tried to kill me. Seems every other teacher and worker had a scheduled break time: EXCEPT for those working with music. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

ABA MEETING
This was pretty cool. For those of you that don't know, Andrea and I have committed to being a part of the new church plant in Owasso led by Douglas "Heffernan" Gregg. Anyways, we set up a booth to promote the new work, and worked it nearly the whole time the booths were open. It was neat to be on that side of the booths, having only been a spectator in the past. It went really well. We had a give-away that garnered a huge response, and we gave out awesome candy instead of the cheapo-depot junk you get at the dollar store. And, on top of that, we gave away free lemonade in little paper shot glasses (required by the convention center). It all got a lot of traffic, and a few candy sharks (weaselly preacher's kids). I also got to meet Kevin Higgins, AKA ABA Polls. I had no idea he was 8 ft. tall. It doesn't come through in his writing. I also got to see some homies I only get to see every year or so, and see what else is going on in our denom. Some things were great, some not so great, but a pretty good meeting I suppose.

I think it being in Tulsa was lame, though. Mainly because I live here. Therefore, I couldn't justify getting a hotel room, so I drove every day back and forth. Again, lame. I keep waiting for the ABA to go to Hawaii, or Cancun. Really. Let's do this RIGHT! Ooh ooh ooh! I got it... VEGAS!!!

Hmmm.. I should probably stop.

Well, that's it for June. Next month we're going to Mexico. WAY into Mexico. 18 HOURS on a BUS into Mexico. I'm excited though. It oughtta be AWESOME!!

SIX LUMPS, PLEASE

2007-05-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

I don't like going to the doctor. I don't like taking medicine. I don't even like watching medical shows on TV (except scrubs), so why would I voluntarily make an appointment to go?

I don't know, but for some reason I did. I probably shouldn't have. I guess I felt like it was time for my regular 8-year exam (that's about how often I see doctors) to make sure I'm still alive.

On a non-medical side note, I had an interesting conversation with a man in the waiting room who was waiting on his wife. He heard me tell the receptionist where I work (FSBC) and when I sat down, he came over to me and started talking. He goes to another Baptist church here in town. Nice enough guy, I suppose. (though I was really excited about getting some reading in during my wait) He was definitely excited to tell me how involved he was in his church, and the different youth pastors/senior pastors he knew, and the great ideas he had for children's ministry, and how selfless he was to serve at his church. He even found time to criticize our church's youth ministry, but we won't get into that. Honestly, Christians can be kind of annoying sometimes.

As far as the actual doctor's appointment, everything went pretty well. I'm alive as far as we can tell. It was actually a little boring. He just asked a bunch of questions, took my vitals, and ran a blood test. Last time I did this whole "making sure I'm still alive" thing, I got a P.A. (physicians assistant, not public address - though it would be cool if I got a public address system every time I went to the doctor...but I digress), and he was a lot of fun. He did all the same stuff, but he also got a little creative. I told him the situation: That he'd probably never see me again, and this visit was just for the fun of it, so he should make the most of it. He did. He had me do some crazy exercises, listened to parts of my body with his stethoscope that I didn't even know could make sounds, and really made the visit interesting.

Not so with this doctor. Just the plain ol' boring stuff that EVERYBODY does. Lame.

This doctor did find one small thing, however. He said that my blood sugar level was "pre-diabetic". I'm not real sure that that means, other than maybe I'm preparing to be a diabetic, but not quite ready for prime-time. Funny, I don't remember signing up for the diabetes prep class. Anyways, he told me to come back in a couple of months and check everything again to make SURE I was still pre-diabetic. I guess you have to go through some rigorous testing to become a full-blown diabetic. So, I'm supposed to report to training camp again in a month.

Trick that noise.

I felt fine until he told me that information. But now, ever since my appointment, I've got this sound in my ear that won't go away. It's my wife telling me to put the cupcake down.

I knew I shouldn't have gone to the doctor.

FISH AND VELCRO

2007-04-28T22:04:00.000-07:00

FISH
Great weekend so far. Thursday one of our church members took me out fishing on his recently acquired bass boat. It was awesome! We didn't catch jack squat, but it was great just to get out on the water. We dropped in on the Arkansas River just east of B.A. on a little oxbow that branches off near one of the McClellen-Kerr locks. It was absolutely perfect. Glassy water, cool temps, no bugs, and only a few lost lures. Just no fish. But again, it was nice to get out on the water. Much thanks to Bobby for a much needed excursion.

VELCRO
The next day, friday, we had our Fourth Friday youth fellowship out at the Looney's place east of town. It was great. Bonfire, kickball, great grub, frisbee, football, "Junkball", and the biggie of the night, a huge inflatable velcro wall. Everybody seemed to dig it, and we all had a great time. Not quite as many showed up as I had expected, but it was still a great crowd and more than enough to get some serious kickball action going. Pretty much any event with a large fire is top notch in my book anyhow. This fire, especially. It was very reminiscent of the Nebuchadnezzerian fire prepared for the 3 Hebrew boys. Many came near to perishing from the heat as they tried to bring their hot dogs near the radiating beast for roasting. Apparantly someone threw in a little uranium before we got there.

NUEVO HAMMONDO

2007-03-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

OLIVIA GRACE HAMMOND
Was born on March 21st, 2007. In my completely objective, unbiased opinion, she is the prettiest baby in Tulsa County, probably the state of Oklahoma, and though I don't have the necessary reference materials in order to verify this, I think there's a chance she's also the most beautiful baby in the United States of America, but again, that statement has yet to be quantified by hard evidence. As you can see to the left, she is going to be a highly spiritual child, as she is already practicing prayerful meditation.

Mom is doing great and is recovering nicely from her legalized narcotic that is the epidural. If it weren't for the whole spinal-tap thing, I think these would be highly abused. Within minutes, Andrea went from being in laborious pain, to feeling no pain (not much anyways) and became much more pleasant to be around. I asked the doctor for a home-model, but alas, it is not available. I asked why, and he mentioned something about trained anesthesiologists and ethical practices blah blah blah. It was apparent this guy wasn't going to budge when I slipped him a Lincoln and he still wouldn't acquiesce to my wishes. Anyways. Back to Andrea. She is recovering nicely, and is still pleasant to be around.. just not as much as when heavily medicated.

Anna has visited "baby sisser", as well, and seems to be handling things well so far. Obviously, this could very well change when "baby sisser" comes home to stay, but so far so good. We're really trying to give Anna some "ownership" (for lack of a better term) of her new sibling, and it seems to be working. She refers to her in the possessive, and is pretty amazed/enamored/shocked by the strange sights and sounds coming from the little thing with no motor skills that everyone seems to want to hold and speak strange languages to.

A sincere thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes, and we look forward to everyone getting to meet our newest addition!

HOMELESS IN BROKEN ARROW

2007-03-13T19:30:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we had a "homeless night" @ FSBC. Students gathered at the Youth Center Friday at 8:00pm, and the event lasted until Saturday afternoon. Here's what went down.

HOMELESS PEOPLE APPARENTLY DON'T KEEP TRACK OF TIME
I should have mentioned earlier that the night was supposed to start at 8:00pm. By the time everyone got there, we were a lot closer to 9:00. But hey, when you're homeless, it's not like you're in a hurry.

HOMELESS PEOPLE DON'T HAVE CARS
After welcoming the 7 students that showed up, we got started on our first activity: walking to Wal-Mart. Since homeless people don't have cars, seven students and three sponsors plodded their way a little over a mile to the nearest Wal-Mart. Once there, I broke them into two teams (boys vs. girls) and gave each team $4. The goal was to see who could come up with the best meal that could feed the most people with four bucks. I forgot my sleeping bag, so Barry and I went and grabbed one while the rest were grocery shopping.

HOMELESS PEOPLE ARE PROBABLY IN A LOT BETTER SHAPE THAN ME
After the teams got their respective grub supplies, we headed back to the church. A 2-mile walk has never hurt so bad. My feet were killing me by the time we got back. Yeesh. I can't believe the level of fitness I have attained: COMPLETE LACK OF!!

HOMELESS PEOPLE BROKE INTO THE CHURCH KITCHEN
That was our story to justify letting the girls us the oven, stove top, and dishes to make their meal. The award for authenticity and simplicity went to the boys. They bought a loaf of break, a pack of bologna, a pack of cheese, and a pack of skittles for dessert. These guys are ready for college. But the girls went nutso and got the "way too complicated for a hobo, but thanks for the great food" award. Spaghetti and sauce with parmesan cheese, little bread sticks, and orange soda to wash it down.

HOMELESS PEOPLE START FIRES
After we ate, we set up our boxes on the church lawn. Everyone go their own extra large moving box to sleep in. We had a little fire between us using some twigs we gathered up and my mini-grill. We caught the church lawn on fire a few times, but hey, what's a youth event if you don't have the risk of dying in a horrible box fire? Actually, being the redneck that I am... which grew up in the country... where we had burn barrels... where the entire 1.5 acre Hammond homestead subsequently burned to the dirt at least twice a year... the small little flame we started in the grass was of no concern: But, it was funny to see them thars city kids get all worked up an' sich. hyungh!

HOMELESS PEOPLE AREN'T EVEN HALF THE PROBLEM
After getting all set up, I had the kids do a little "hunger quiz" about the numbers of hungry people in our state and country. Needless to say, it was depressing. I read some scripture about how we, as Christians, and as God's people, are to care for those who can't care for themselves, and we discussed some of the stereotypes and unfortunate realities of the homeless and hungry. Overall, I felt it was a pretty good discussion: Especially since it was nearly 1:00am by this time.

HOMELESS PEOPLE HAVE IT A LOT WORSE THAN WE DO
I mean, the next morning we woke up, and we weren't homeless anymore. We went to Braum's and got a hot cup of coffee and some biscuits and gravy. We went home and got a shower later that day. And, while we were homeless, the weather was perfect, we were among friends, we were safe, and those wardrobe boxes worked out almost perfect. I'd almost camp in one of those. I hope we at least got a glimpse of what it would be like if we really did have to live off a few dollars a week, live outside ALL the time, and be honked at, yelled at, and mocked on a regular basis.

HOMELESS PEOPLE ARE THANKFUL FOR TULSA FOOD BANK
The next morning we got up and volunteered at the food bank. A new student joined us, but we lost one the night before due to his job, so it all evened out. Anyways, we worked there from 9:00am to Noon. It was an awesome experience. Top-notch staff, and MORE than top-notch facilities, and amazing amount of programs. Very impressive. We even had some kids show interest in volunteering on a regular basis. I just cant say enough about how much of a positive experience it was. (I won't mention the stereo war. We almost had a dance fight break out)

TEST POST

2007-03-01T09:09:00.000-08:00

Test Post. Ignore it. Don't read ANY MORE OF THIS. Move on. Seriously, quit reading it. There's nothing here, why are you wasting your time? Stop! Quit reading it!!

A FEW THINGS THIS WEEKEND

2007-02-26T18:32:00.000-08:00

For those who don't know, we're on a little vacation/ministry conference this weekend in Georgia. It's been fun. We haven't done as much activities as we had planned, but we HAVE gotten a TON of much-needed rest. Really, that's the best vacation anyways. Here's a few bullet-pointed observations.

ON TRANSPORTATION

While driving in Georgia, it is apparently customary (and totally acceptable) to go, on average, 20 mph OVER the posted speed limit. This was verified when we blazed by a highway patrol (who was on the side of the road clocking people) at 75 mph in a 55 mph zone, and he didn't even look up from his.. um..coffee. This was also accentuated as we were repeatedly tail-gated and evilly-eyed by people whose progress was obviously hindered by our less-than-acceptable speeding.
If you are Jimmy, public transportation rocks, especially public trains. I love trains. If you are Andrea, public transportation is a germ-infested, uncomfortable situation where you are surrounded by hundreds of unfamiliar people going to an unfamiliar place. I do have to admit, the lady behind us on the trip home who had really, really bad body odor and was mumbling to herself was a bit unsettling, but tolerable. I mean, it IS public transportation. I believe they have a "mentally unstable hygienically challenged passenger" quota of some sort.
Though they drive like maniacs, they DO expect you to stay in your assigned lane. Hypocrites.

ON FOOD

Longhorn Steakhouse: Get the rib eye. And remember; Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.
Free Starbucks is good Starbucks, even if it's weak Starbucks
Chili's: Always there when you need them. Bless you for staying open late. Curse you for allowing me to order hot wings at 10:00pm.

ON HOSPITALITY SERVICES

I don't understand why you, Mr. hotel clerk, are so astoundingly protective of your precious bath towels. Is it really going to put the chain out of business to give me a few extra?
And to you, Ms. Hotel Clerk, I don't really care if you can hear it or not: TELL THE GUY NEXT DOOR TO TURN HIS STINKING RADIO DOWN! I don't think you want some sicko who cranks up polka music at 9:00 in the morning staying at your hotel anyway. And who brings their own stereo system with them to a hotel? Freaky.
Having a kitchenette in your room with a coffee maker rocks. Not having coffee or condiments provided for said coffeemaker does NOT rock.

Watch for edits coming soon.

FUNNY EXCHANGE

2007-02-26T18:30:00.000-08:00

DOUG: So are we going to debrief when we get back?
ME: I'd really prefer to keep my briefs on, thank you!

WEDNESDAY WRAP-UP

2007-02-21T17:56:00.000-08:00

THE GOSPEL MESSAGE, Part 1

Attendance: 6
Lesson Topic: 7
Fun Factor: 4
Leader Involvement: 5
Music: 2
Lesson Quality: 6
Student Response: 6

ATTENDANCE
We hit a new high in our attendance: We beat the previous record by 1 student. Yay!

LESSON TOPIC
We are going through Dare2Share's "GOSPEL Journey" Video-based curriculum. This episode is mainly just an intro, but the students seemed to be into it, and I even had a visitor say he would definitely be back because he wanted to see what happens next. Awesome.

FUN FACTOR
We have nixed games altogether, but the kids have been taking advantage of hang time before and after our meeting. It makes the game-room/youth center quite abuzz. Nice.

LEADER INVOLVEMENT
All of our small groups were present and accounted for, and everyone seems to really be getting into their groups. In fact, one group has already meeting for a Bible Study on a separate day. Woop!

MUSIC
We are still sans-drummer, which is lame, but it seemed to go pretty well. Except...i forgot to kill the background music when we started to play, so the first song was kinda messed up. But, the kids sang out really well, which is great.

LESSON QUALITY
I'm pretty impressed with the D2S Curriculum. They seemed to really go all out in the production of this one, and the concept is fantastic. It's very real, very raw, and very captivating. Jimmy like.

STUDENT RESPONSE
13 kids accepted Jesus Christ as Savior. Just kidding. Actually, none did (at least not publicly), but just them showing up in force seemed like a pretty good response indicator. We'll see if that holds out for next week. Someday I hope to see that first statement become a reality.

HORKOUT

2007-02-20T22:51:00.000-08:00

Hork (v) 1.to loot a corpse 2. to vomit 3. to summon phlegm in preparation for spitting.

That's what I did all day Saturday. Loot corpses. Just kidding. I emptied my guts (and then some) for the better part of the day. It's amazing what kind of workout you get from violent upheaval. I was sore for two days. Bulimics must have rock hard abs.

NO MORE COFFEE
Well, not "no more" as in "none whatsoever forever". More like "no more than a cup a day". I think drinking a pot a day was having an adadadadadadverse effefefefefect on me. I'm sure the 1/1 ratio of coffee to creamer wasn't helping things either. What is non-dairy creamer made of, anyway? Goodness and Joy and Joyness?

UPDATE ON THE ONE THAT HAS A DUE DATE
Andrea went in for another check-up today. She's been "measuring small", which means the stomach isn't as big as it should be (we're talking a matter of centimeters here, and I have to question the exactness of this science). It's nothing to be alarmed about, yet. The baby continues to check out A-OK, so as long as that keeps up, no worries. But, it could also be an indication that something isn't right. We're praying that any "not-rightness" is simply from being my progeny, and not any form of developmental issues.

OH ATLANTA, I HEAR YOU CALLIN'
We're leaving for Atlanta on Friday for a conference/vacation. I'm stoked. We'll be gone until Wednesday, and it should be a rockin' good time. Anna will be at the sitter, which should make the 12-14 hour drive much easier, plus Andrea and I (and her huge belly!) will get to spend some much needed "together" time..um.. together.

SUPERMARKET, SUPER DEAL
Grandma Reasor's Meatloaf Dinner...$9.99
Quality. Some of the best meatloaf I've ever put my greasy lips on. I was impressed. It's the Tuesday special; Check it.

A FLOCK OF PONDGULLS

2007-02-17T00:53:00.000-08:00

Are you tired of your annoying sleep habit?
Do you ever wish you could surround yourself with the sounds of nature for 24 hours a day?
Does it make you sad to see a clean sidewalk, free of fecal matter?
Do you like to be accosted by a mob of bellicose waterfowl every time you try to enter your apartment?
Would you love to have your personal space invaded by uninvited, ungrateful, smelly guests that destroy your lawn furniture and frighten your children?

Have 300 geese lodge in the lake in front of you apartment.

I promise I'm not bitter.

SEMANTICS WITH JIMMY

2007-02-17T00:31:00.000-08:00

I thought about the word "deadline" today. It seems to me that if someone crosses a "DEADLINE", then DEATH should be involved, right? I mean, isn't that the obvious implication?

I think fewer deadlines would be missed if there was actual death involved. Or, at least fewer deadlines would be set. I think that would be the less-considered benefit. I mean, who would set a deadline for someone if you knew that if they missed said deadline, they would have to die? Of course I guess that could come in handy, too; but let's not delve to far into that.

WEDNESDAY WRAP-YUP

2007-02-15T00:11:00.000-08:00

FEBRUARY 15, 2007

FIRST, SOMETHING DIFFERENT
I'm changing my rating system to a simpler numerical-value based system. Instead of a range of Way Below, Below, Slightly Below, Average, etc... it will now just be 1-7.

Be amazed.

Attendance: 3
Lesson Topic: 6
Fun Factor: 4
Leader Involvement: 5
Music: 2
Lesson Quality: 6
Student Response: 6

ATTENDANCE
I think it being Valentine's day hurt us a little. There were several parties and such going on, and many sweethearts being cola'd and dined.

LESSON TOPIC
The Lesson was the "Story of Stephen". I talked about how Stephen was totally sold out to his cause, and how he stood boldly for Christ, and was willing to die for the Gospel. A true Gospel Warrior. During small group we discussed persecution, discovered that we're all Gospel Weenies, and hopefully realized the need to take a bold stand for Jesus and the Gospel.

FUN FACTOR
We didn't have time for our game, but I did pelt everyone with 3 bags of double bubble. So, the fun factor for ME was quite high, but not so fun for everyone else.

LEADER INVOLVEMENT
My small group leaders are the best.

MUSIC
Sorry, Barry. We just don't sound as good when we don't have the cloak of drums and a blaring electric guitar to cover our lack of musical skill and rhythm.

LESSON QUALITY
I thought it was pretty good. A bit confrontational, relatively short, and I'm still riding a contact high of passion from Greg Stier last weekend.

STUDENT RESPONSE
Brittany W. accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior. That's what it's all about. Plus, I got to be the one to lead her on the last leg of her journey to that critical point. Of course, I can't take all the credit, or even some of the credit. I was just fortunate enough to be there when she finally gave in to the Spirit's call.

On top of that, she prayed one of the most amazing prayers I've ever heard in my life. What an awesome experience!

WEDNESDAY WRAP-UP

2007-02-08T20:45:00.000-08:00

FEBRUARY 07, 2007

Attendance: Slightly Above Average
Lesson Topic: Small Group Launch Meeting
Fun Factor: Above Average
Leader Involvement: Way Above Average
Music: Slightly Below Average
Lesson Quality: WAYYY Above Average (I didn't bring one)
Length of Lesson: N/A
Student Response: Way Above Average

Tonight was FANTASTIC. I'm not sure why I didn't IMMEDIATELY incorporate small groups as soon as I got here nearly 2 years ago, but I hope it was a really, REALLY good reason. I honestly think this has the potential to completely transform this youth ministry. That being said, I think last night's launch meeting went pretty well.

FUN FACTOR
We had a freebie PPT game that I got from pastor2youth where students had to answer some TEAM trivia questions. To be honest, the only reason I chose it is because it had the A-Team as the first question, and I'm a sucker for anything 80's, ESPECIALLY anything 80's that incorporates MR.T. I think having the kids compete in ACTUAL TEAMS helps the game. I think having KRISPY KREME'S as the prize helps even more.

LEADER INVOLVEMENT
Well, they finally have something to DO, so they get a high rating. I had two that weren't able to be there, but I, along with our drummer filled in for the night. (GO BOB!) Everyone did great, but I have to give special props to KEVIN. As soon as he got there, he started working the crowd and seeking out his students to greet them and hang out.

MUSIC
Our lead guitarist was out with illness, which was especially bad, because he had a killer solo on one of our songs. Then, on the last song, the chorus calls for some serious COWBELL on the repeat. Knowing the cowbell is on the way, at the end of the first chorus I yell out, "I WANT MORE COWBELL!". It would have been really smooth, except our drummer forgot to set up the stinking cowbell. I look back, wondering why there is no cowbell, and he just shrugs and points to where the cowbell was SUPPOSED to be. (WAY TO GO BOB!) So, we finish the song, and I, being the dork that I am, make Bob get the cowbell out and we re-did the chorus again WITH cowbell.

I gotta have more COWBELL!

STUDENT RESPONSE
The students seemed to really get into the whole small group thing. During our Small Group Leader de-briefing afterwards, everyone reported that their kids were VERY talkative, and were really getting into it. Of course, it was mostly "fun" get-to-know-you type questions, so we'll see what happens when it gets a little more serious and focused. But so far, so good.

SHUN THE UNBELIEVER! SHUUUUN!

2007-02-07T00:45:00.000-08:00

Strange, disturbing, and oddly funny. A student sent this to me and, in a sick way, I found it to be pretty humorous, so I thought I'd share.

CRANIAL IMPERMEABILITY & BBQ

2007-02-02T22:32:00.000-08:00

IT'S REALLY NOT THAT HARD
I mean, this God-Follower thing. It's quite simple when you get down to it. Two things: Seek and Surrender. Seek God, and then surrender to His will as He reveals it. And all the instruction you need is contained in a neat little leather-bound handy-dandy collection of writings readily available for a reasonable price (or for free if you're willing to gank a Gideon)

BUT I REALLY AM THAT DENSE
Why is this so hard for me to grasp? Why am I surprised when everything goes to pooey when I slack on one (or sometimes both) of those things? Why am I even MORE surprised when everything starts to fall into place when I put forth even the weakest effort to do those two very simple things? Am I really THAT stupid? (please, don't answer that)

RIB OF THE RUNT
Tonight we ate at Runt's BBQ in B.A. (next to BassPro). Two Words: EXCELLENT. Shout out to Pat Jones on the Animal. He keeps raving about it, so I thought we'd give it a try. We started off with some Potato Skins for an appetizer. Then we split a 3-meat combo, and got Anna a kiddy chopped brisket. We chose the smoked turkey, sliced brisket, and ribs for the combo. Sides were fries and okra. Andrea got a root beer, and I slugged down a few sweet teas. Here's my ratings on each(on a scale of 1-5).

POTATO SKINS: 3.5
Not the best I've ever had, but they hang with Friday's. The standard for potato skins is probably Jake's Rib in Chickasha, but these were definitely worth eating. Of course, throw some ranch dressing on it, and I'll eat my hat. But I digress...

SLICED BRISKET: 3
The weakest element of the meal. Not bad, but not outstanding. The best brisket around is at HARV'S, second is at RUDY'S, and after that it doesn't really matter. Anyhow, I normally put a lot of weight on the sliced brisket, since it's my fave meat, but Runt's will redeem themselves shortly.

SMOKED TURKEY BREAST: 5
Definitely a strong contender in the Runt's line-up. Thick. Juicy. Smoked well, but not too strong. Runt's BBQ sauce is nothing to write home about, but that's no problem with a chunk of flesh cooked to this level of delectibility: Adding even the best BBQ sauce would diminish the taste of this delicious bird.

CHOPPED BRISKET: 3
I only took a couple of bites off Anna's plate, because I didn't want to look like that guy who not only licks his plate clean, but then has to eat everyone else's leftovers, too. (So, I put everyone's leftovers in a box and eat them at home) Nonetheless, The chopped was not much better than the sliced. A little dry, not as tasty as I'd hoped, but not bad, either. Very middle o' the road.

FRIES: 5
Obviously laced with a narcotic. These are those awesome batter-dipped kind of fries cooked in nice, fresh oil. Yeesh. I could eat a pound of 'em for BREAKFAST!

FRIED OKRA: 4
It's fried okra: the only thing you can do to mess it up is to overcook them. The only reason I withhold the 5 rating is because I'm waiting to find a restaurant who has figured out a way to make okra a little better. Maybe fry it in bacon grease or something, I dunno.

ROOT BEER: 3
Just a standard rating for fountain root beer. It wasn't bad or anything. If you put it in a frosty mug, I give you a 4. If you brew it yourself AND put it in a frosty mug, you get a 5. If you get it out of a box and pour it in a plastic glass with some ice, you get a 3. If it's flat you get a 2. If it's flat and you do something really stupid like forget to put ice in it or mix it with another drink or antifreeze, you get a 1.

SWEET TEA: 4
Great job here. Not TOO sweet, not weak, just right. It wasn't made and served to me by my hot wife, nor was it in a frosty glass mug, so it doesn't get the coveted 5, but a solid brew for sure.

And finally, the rating you've been waiting for...

RIBS: 6
I know the scale only goes to a 5, but trust me, these ribs deserve it. They were so tender, you had to politely ask them to get on your fork. They were so delicious, they couldn't wait for you to eat them, so they just went ahead and jumped in your mouth and gave you a lip massage. And don't you dare molest this choice chunk of meat with seasoning or sauce, for you will absolutely ruin the experience. I suggest you take a big whiff of them before you eat them, because they are the fine wine of rib-a-licousness. I'd even suggest wallowing them around in your mouth before you swallow them (chewing isn't really necessary, as they quite literally melt in your mouth). Be sure say something aristocratic, like "it was a good cow" or "dang, momma! Them's DEE-Lishus!"

Overall, a great dining experience. The waitress was a little slow, but not to the point of feeling neglected. The decor was different than expected, but cool. Definitely kid friendly, and entertaining. Pricing was excellent, especially for a BBQ joint.

WEDNESDAY WRAP-UP

2007-02-02T10:01:00.000-08:00

JANUARY 31, 2007

Attendance: Below Average
Lesson Topic: Question & Answer III
Fun Factor: Average
Volunteer Involvement: Average
Music: N/A
Lesson Quality: Slightly Above Average
Length of Lesson: 25 Minutes
Student Response: Average

SNOWFLAKES ARE SCARY
Our attendance was down because it was snowing. We had received about 1/32nd of an inch by the time church started, but the roads were starting to get a little slick, so I think a lot of kids stayed home to watch the news ticker, hoping that school would be cancelled.

NO MORE QUESTIONS
We finished up our Q&A series. We talked about horoscopes, How to know if you're saved, and got pretty deep into the Trinity. Next week will be our Small Group launch meeting.

POWERPLAY & LENO
I got a fun freebie ppt game from sym. I also opened with a funny video segment from The Tonight Show featuring the "Jaywalk All-Stars", where Leno asks some very simple questions to some very, um, "less-than-brilliant" people. You can download it for free from the ITunes Store (search for "jaywalk allstars")

GUILTY CONSCIENCE
When I made the announcement to start the meeting, it literally looked like we had about 10 people there. So, I hastily made the decision to nix music and get directly into the lesson (since singing can be awkward for a small group like that). But, as the kids gathered up, I guess a few had been hiding under the floor or something, because we actually had a pretty good crowd considering the weather. So, consequently, I felt bad for nixing the music; primarily for 2 reasons:

1.) The band works hard every week, not only to rehearse, but just to be there. It almost feels like a waste when we don't get to play.
2.) I broke one of my own rules, which is to always treat the few like the many. Don't cancel stuff just because only a few show up. Let that few know you appreciate them and go all out even though there's not a big crowd.
Okay, a third reason 3.) We had a rockin' set, complete with guitar solos and drum breaks. I can't wait to use it next week.

I sent out an email of apology to the guys, and hopefully I've learned from my mistake.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS
To be honest, the night felt a little off. We get those nights every once in a while. The lesson seemed to go OK, the video and game were alright, but it just didn't seem like everybody was "there". I don't really have an explanation, and it very well could have just been me, but nothing seemed to be "clicking".

GOOD POST-MEETING GATHERING
Some good stuff happened after the meeting, though. I got invited out to eat afterwards by a sponsor and his wife. They, along with another sponsor-couple, were going to take 2 "new guys" out to eat afterwards. Both of these guys are post-high school (we have several college-agers that attend our youth meetings), and very new to our church, so it was great to spend some time with them. I was proud of my sponsors for being pro-active and seeking to connect with these guys.

RESTAURANT IMPROVEMENT, MAYBE
We ate at a local place in B.A. (Peppers) that I haven't visited in quite some time because, to be honest, I didn't think their food was very good. BUT, Wednesday night there was a marked improvement. First, they're one of the few restaurants that bring out chips and QUESO, (which gets you some major bonus points in my book) and second my mushroom burger was just pretty tasty. Tasty, tasty burger. We may have to give them a second look in the future to see if this was a fluke. Man, I love free queso!

WEE ME

2007-02-02T09:56:00.000-08:00

I found this on Marko's blog, and thought it to be humorous. Check wee me out. Click here to make wee you.

FOURTH FRIDAY

2007-01-27T22:01:00.000-08:00

One of our new monthly events is what I'm dubbing "FOURTH FRIDAYS". On the fourth friday of each month (hence the cleverly original name), we're going to have a youth-rally type event: This week was our first attempt.

Here was the line-up:

MUSIC:
Circle 3. They're a band straight outta Shawmpton (aka Shawnee). They did a fantastic job. They had a concert of all originals (Koala Tea, indeed), and also led a worship set to set-up my devotional. Excellent musicianship and stage presence, and the lights and pyrotechnics were AWESOME!

GAME:
Human-sized Gerbil Cages (aka Human Spheres). This went over GREAT! (thanks to Chuck G. for manning the station) The weather was fantastic, so we were able to do this outside. I had planned on doing it indoors, but that would have been a DISASTER, since I underestimated how much space would be required for these things. The kids seemed to really dig it, and we has some funny "brawls", with only minor bloodshed.

OTHER FUN STUFF:
We also had tournaments going on our game tables, which seems to always go over well. Kids just like to compete, I guess. Or maybe they like seeing their name written on a dry-erase board. I dunno.

FOOD:
Chem-cherific chili dogs and fantastic frito chili pie. Hooray to Sam's Club for their great "Big Tub Chili" and mega-pack of beef hot dogs. As Nick B. stated: "Brother Jimmy, this is AWESOME!"

EDIT:
On the Sunday following, all the sponsors reported having massive amounts of chili-dog induced flatulence, which speaks to the obvious superior quality of the product.

ATTENDANCE:
This is the only part of the evening that wasn't up to spec. I was really surprised that more didn't turn out. I felt like I promoted it as well or better than other events we've had, and there wasn't anything else major going on around town, to my knowledge. I'm not sure waddup with that. But, those that showed up had a great time. I think next month I'll get a little more of a head-start on promoting it, and try to get a few sister churches involved.

WEDNESDAY WRAP-UP

2007-01-25T21:16:00.000-08:00

January 24, 2007

Attendance: Average
Lesson Topic: Question & Answer
Fun Factor: Below Average
Volunteer Involvement: Average
Music: Above Average
Lesson Quality: Slightly Above Average
Length of Lesson: 25 Minutes
Student Response: Above Average

We had to take a week off due to ICE STORM 2007, but I was pleased to see attendance hold steady. We were only down a few from previous weeks. Of course, I want to be running 50 by now, but I'll wait on the Lord to increase. He'd just better hurry up. :) (just kidding, please don't strike me dead, thank you.)

This was week 2 of our Q&A Series. We had several "hot" questions, including dancing, so-called "secular" music, and heaven. I showed a funny AFV-type video of some really, REALLY bad dancing, and it seemed to go pretty well. EXCEPT that I forgot to cue it on my computer before I started, so there was some dead time while I opened it.

Music was pretty good. I pulled out a semi-secular song entitled "When I Get Where I'm Going", from a Brad Paisley album. It's a great song that fit really well with the lesson. I thought the kids responded really well, too, since most of them know it and like it. Plus, I felt tragically hip for playing something not found on a WOW Worship CD.

Afterwards I had a great conversation with a student dealing with one of the most common struggles we all have: not "feeling" very saved. It was great to be able to share my own experience, and hopefully give the student some helpful words and advice. It's funny, too, because next week's lesson will be dealing with that EXACT ISSUE. How 'bout THAT for the hand o' God!

Personality Profile

2007-01-11T08:36:00.002-08:00

I saw this on Barry's site and thought I'd take it myself. The Oracle has spoken.

Career Inventory Test Results

Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Altruism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Inquisitiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%

You are an Inspirer, possible professions include - conference planner, speech pathologist, HR development trainer, ombudsman, clergy, journalist, newscaster, career counselor, housing director, character actor, marketing consultant, musician/composer, artist, information-graphics designer, human resource manager, merchandise planner, advertising account manager, dietitian/nutritionist, speech pathologist, massage therapist, editor/art director.

Take Free Career Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

I'm an INSPIRER! Wow. I can only hope to inspire others to reach the same heights of mediocrity that I, myself, have attained.

WEDNESDAY WRAP-UP

2007-01-11T08:36:00.001-08:00

January 10, 2006

Attendance: Above Average
Lesson Topic: Question & Answer
Fun Factor: Average
Volunteer Involvement: Above Average
Music: Average
Lesson Quality: Above Average
Length of Lesson: 25 Minutes
Student Response: Above Average

This was the first of a series of three lessons entitled Q&A. I lifted the title and several of the questions from here. It's a great series, and a nice opener for the semester. Last week, during the vision meeting, I had students fill out a response card with questions they had about Christianity, the Bible, or life in general. WOW! What a great idea! I really have to give it up to myself on that one. The kids penned some superb questions. So many, in fact, that I'm not going to be able to cover them all during the lesson series. So, I'm trying to figure out a way to answer them. Maybe a weekly column? Who knows.

This week one of the "hot" questions was about tattoos and piercings. We had a VERY FUNNY VIDEO of the pastor talking about tattoos. Of course, when he did the interview, he didn't KNOW he was talking about tattoos, but some creative editing turned a few questions about childhood heroes and favorite foods into quite an interesting revelation.

It was almost TOO good, as some of the kids thought it was SERIOUS. The looks on their faces were PRICELESS! I made sure to let them in on the joke when it was over, though. I DO want to keep my job, after all.

I've shortened the music down to just 2 songs, and it seems to be OK. Long enough to keep the hounds at bay, short enough to not be rushed on the lesson.

WEDNESDAY WRAP-UP

2007-01-04T08:14:00.000-08:00

January 3rd, 2006

Attendance: Above Average
Lesson Topic: VISION MEETING
Fun Factor: Below Average
Volunteer Involvement: Below Average
Music: N/A
Lesson Quality: Above Average
Length of Lesson: 30 Minutes
Student Response: Average

This week wasn't a lesson so much as a vision-casting session. There was an unusually large number of students present, which was great. There were a few visitors, though, so I don't know how excited they were to be sitting in on a goal-setting meeting. But, everything seemed to roll along pretty well.

I presented my goals for the next semester to the students. At my conclusion, they gave me a standing ovation and, with much hearfelt emotion started a spontaneous prayer meeting to grant us all the courage and passion to realize the fulfillment of those goals. Or, they might have sat motionless, looking at me with blank stares. Either way...

I also gave them a handout that covered what the upcoming lessons would be about for the next semester, and talked about the new small group format we were going to be introducing. Everyone seem pretty stoked about it all.

So, without any further lack of ado, here's our goals for this semester:
1.> Hit 60 in attendance by Spring Break (I even made a little logo to represent 60xSpring)
2.> Average 60 in attendance for the month of May
3.> Have 20 salvations and baptisms
4.> Have 10 new members

I'm praying for some divine momentum to make this happen; especially the salvations. Our youth group, quite honestly, has become a social club, and it's time we tranformed it back into a life-saving station. HUTTAH!

WEDNESDAY WRAP-UP

2006-12-29T09:08:00.000-08:00

Attendance: Slightly Below Average
Lesson Topic: Resolutions vs. Covenants
Fun Factor: Slightly Above Average
Volunteer Involvement: Average
Music: N/A
Lesson Quality: Above Average
Length of Lesson: 25 Minutes
Student Response: Above Average

I took a lesson I found on Pastor2Youth and molded it to fit my group. It was a very interactive lesson that took the whole meeting to complete, but my time of introducing the ideas and "preaching" was relatively short; the rest of the time was spent in small group discussion and activity.

I did a short lesson, "PRESSING ON", based on Philippians 3:10-15. I segued into a discussion about resolutions versus covenants, and the superiority of having the accountability of a covenant to help us reach our goals.

The students then broke into groups of 2-4. Each student wrote some resolutions, both to START doing some things and STOP doing some things. The positive resolutions were discussed among their group, and each member signed a "covenant" to help each other keep them. The negative resolutions were symbolically burned (outside, in a bucket) after a prayer.

The students were abnormally participatory, and overall everything went very smoothly. I also got some positive feedback (even though we didn't have music)

WEDNESDAY WRAP-UP

2006-12-13T21:52:00.000-08:00

Attendance: Slightly Above Average*
Lesson Topic: Birth of Christ/Christ's purpose
Fun Factor: Slightly Above Average
Volunteer Involvement: Way Above Average
Music: Above Average
Lesson Quality: N/A
Length of Lesson: 5 minutes, maybe
Student Response: No salvation's, but everyone seemed to really enjoy it.
*includes 9 students from another youth group. Without them, we were actually slightly below average.

Tonight was our Christmas Banquet. Last February we did a Valentine's banquet where the students served the adults. This time we reversed that concept, and the adults served the students. It seemed to go REALLY well. Here's the rundown:

Students signed in and put their gifts on a table
Students sat in a beautifully decorated youth center, complete with candles, Christmas lights, a manger scene, dimmed "mood" lighting (sans make-out room, however), huge oversized gift boxes (I told one kid they were filled with cases of Nintendo Wii's), and fancy shmancy place settings at each table. (Thanks Carol & Kari!)
I gave a welcome and Nick & Amy (our resident former waiter & waitress) took orders. The kiddos had their choice of Chicken Fettucine Alfredo or Meat Lasagna. Everyone got a salad and breadsticks, and their choice of cola. (this was everybody's fave drink)
While everyone ate, Dustin Mitchel (YP @ Landmark Vian) played some sweet acoustic Christmas jams on his guitar. He brought his wife, Tiff, and 9 of his students.
As everyone finished up eating, we had each student draw a number from a bucket, and then, in numerical order, they got to go choose a gift from the table and I had them put their number back in the bucket.
After everyone had gotten their gift and opened it, I went down each table and had everyone show what they got. I then drew about 5 or 6 numbers and allowed those people to trade their gift for someone else's or choose one of the leftovers still unwrapped on the table (nobody went for option 2).
Afterwards, we had DDR set up on stage and gave the kids a little time to mingle.

The sponsors were huge in making this happen. We had a team of about 6 in the kitchen cooking and prepping all the food, and another team of about 5 serving. Everything came off without a hitch, but we had one minor problem: Very few students brought gifts! I announced it for two weeks before the party, and sent out emails to boot, but several still "forgot" their gifts, and several acted like they had no idea they were supposed to bring anything. (I even had two kids say "We were supposed to dress up?") I refrained from administering the "choke-hold memory-refresher" technique.

I had anticipated a few non-gift-bringers, and had several extras, but with so many giftless kids, we ended up scrounging around the youth center, making a Wal-Mart run, and having a mad wrapping party (but not a rapping party, unfortunately) in the back while the kids were eating to get enough gifts together. (Thanks to Carol, Cheri, Leslie, Chrystal, and Tiffany for making that happen!)

One good result of our "gift scramble": I finally got rid of the "Boz & Friends" DVD I've been trying to give away for months at youth group! BUH HA HA HA HA!

But, most of the kids DID dress up (some really, REALLY nice) and my feedback so far has been pretty positive. Overall a definite success.

Super big thanks to my wife unit, Andrea. She was a great restaurant manager and kept everything running smoothly. (at least it appeared to run smoothly). Also big "graci" to Kim and our team of Iron Chefs. It was really a group effort spanning well beyond our normal ministry "partners", and everyone's effort es muy appreciado.

Consumerism and a Bowl of Walnuts

2006-12-13T21:28:00.000-08:00

Day 3 of Anna not feeling well, so I got to spend the morning/early afternoon at home again. Theoretically I could accomplish most everything I need to accomplish from the confines of home via the internet and my sweet laptop, but that's just a theory.

Why do they sell chips in a 5 lb bag? Because we'll buy them, that's why. Actually, put them on sale "2 for $5" and we'll buy TWO. This is just a silly-large bag of chips (shown next to awestruck child for scale) and I felt the need to share. When I open my pantry, it sits on the top shelf, looming over me like it could avalanche at any moment if I make a loud noise or sudden movement. What's sad is that this really IS bag #2, and bag#1 only lasted a week. Too bad they don't sell them in 55 gal. drums, we could make it a whole month on one of those!

QUESTION: What's a funny nonsensical answer to asenine questions?

A.) That's a great question!
B.) Is asenine a cuss word?
C.) That's really none of your business.
D.) A bowl of walnuts.

The correct answer is D.) A bowl of walnuts.

"A Bowl of Walnuts". It's the new "Egypt"!

Christmas Trees and Stolen Templates

2006-12-11T23:01:00.000-08:00

Today we set up our new, $104.99 Christmas tree that we purchased for a mere $39.99 at Garden Ridge. (not that I'm proud of my good deal or anything). The beauty of the tree is the fact that it is pre-lit, which makes it A BARGAIN AT ANY PRICE. Wow, what a beautiful lack of hassle!

We wanted this to be a "family" thing, especially being Anna's first Christmas that she might actually remember something about, but she has had a ROUGH evening with some serious allergy action going on, so it was mommy and me. I think we did a pretty kickin' job if I do say so myself. We'll be the envy of the apartment complex, I just know it.

EDIT: If you're visiting from www.micropersuasion.com, I want you to know that there was NO ACTUAL THEFT. My friend, Doug, just happened to use the same freebie template that I had chosen from blogger. Sorry to disappoint, but I have no example of code theft for you to ponder. I'm afraid Mr. Rubel just didn't look close enough at my blog to realize that it was written in jest. On the other hand, thanks for stopping by!

The 2 of you that read this may have noticed a slight change in the look and feel of the ol' blog. That's because Doug stole mine. Having the same blog template is like showing up to a concert wearing the t-shirt of the concert you're at. LAME. So I changed mine to a darker, hipper layout. Hope you like it.. DOUG. *cough* thief! *cough* *cough*

Recently I offered a poll regarding women pastors. My byline mentions that my thoughts are read by an audience of ones. That has never been so apparant as when I looked at the results of my poll today. Word of advice: If no one reads your blog, don't advertise the fact by doing a poll.

Strangely enough, by a twisted turn of events, I found this reference to my blog by someone I never heard of. I guess I should post my deep thoughts more often! But, that means I have to HAVE deep thoughts more often and, honestly, that kinda hurts.

Tonight, after the tree business was finished and Anna was down to sleep, Andrea and I had a good, deep convo. I encourage everyone to do that. (have a deep convo with YOUR spouse, not mine). Just sit down and talk. Bring up something big and get their input on it. Most importantly, tell them how you feel about them (nice things.. say nice things) and let them know what you're doing to get better at being their spouse. Not in a braggadocious way, but in a way to let them know that you're trying, and you just want them to know that you love them enough to work at it. Just some insight and encouragement for you married-types out there.

One last deep thought. What would it be like to live EVERY day like it was your LAST day? Is that REALLY possible? Is it really PLAUSIBLE? I mean, part of being alive and functioning includes a certain amount of forethought and planning. Well, being alive and functioning as a contributor to society anyhow. I pondered this for a (very) short bit tonight and considered it's implications. My deduction is that we can't necessarily live EXACTLY like this is our last day, because really, there are a lot of very boring things I've done today (and will do again tomorrow) that wouldn't mean SQUAT to me if it was my last day. But, seeing how I'm planning on being here for at least another week or so, they were quite necessary. BUT, perhaps we can capture the spirit of a last-day lifestyle by totally "going for the gusto" in everything we do, and living as passionately and spirit-filled as humanly (and, if you're the God-fearing type, superhumanly) possible. Maybe instead of living like this IS our last day, we live like it MIGHT be our last day, but there's a small chance it's NOT.

I love God. I don't know why he even messes with me anymore, but He does, and I'm SOOOO thankful for that. He keeps things so beautifully frightening and comfortable all at the same time, and that's just cool.

Daddy Daycare

2006-12-08T21:36:00.000-08:00

I took today off to babysit my daughter because we have yet to find a friday sitter. Whilest I seriously needed to get some work done and make some visits, it was really nice to spend the day at home. Anna seemed to have a great time, I was able to help out the wiff by cleaning up on the house some, and I didn't do one ministry-related task all day. (other than reading a few blogs and emailing Sunday's worship set to the pastor). That was a strange, but nice feeling. Sometimes its good to take a break.

I also learned something along the way: My daughter is so smart and beautiful it quite literally scares me.

A few other random thoughts and observations:

Bissell Vacuum cleaners work MUCH better when the filters have been cleaned
The internet should have a warning label regarding it's addictive qualities
Cool, meaningful names are hard to come by
It's nice to dress up and go out to eat every once in a while
We should dress up and go out to eat every once in a while when there's NOT and office party involved (the party was great.. we just need to get out more)
Must Have Decoration of the Season: amazingly huge poinsettia in a cool square pot

WEDNESDAY WRAP-UP

2006-12-07T12:30:00.001-08:00

I totally stole this from Kurt. I thought it be a neat way to track our weekly meetings. Check it, yo.

Here's the Scale I'll Be Using:
Way Below Average
Below Average
Slightly Below Average
Average
Slightly Above Average
Above Average
Way Above Average

Attendance: Below Average
Lesson Topic: How The Grinch Almost Stole Christmas
(A comparison of Dr. Seuss's Grinch and Herod in Matthew 2)
Fun Factor: Way Below Average
Volunteer Involvement: Average (I don't have much for them to do right now)
Music: N/A
Lesson Quality: Average
Length of Lesson: 25 Minutes (+/- 3 min.)
Student Response: N/A (no scheduled response time)

I felt like this was one of the more "challenging" messages I've given lately, as it really took Christians to task for being "grinches", when God has called us to be so much more. It was a real challenge for me, too, as I had been popping anti-histamines and was rather doped up all evening. Because of some scheduling conflicts and my temporary chemically-induced state, we didn't have music this week. I hate to do that (because I have a near-revolt on my hands when we nix music) but it was necessary.

Attendance was still down, but up over the past few weeks.

I tried a ppt Christmas Movie Trivia game, but didn't mess with splitting the kids up into teams. Mistake. Taking away the potential for a prize and the aspect of competition completely killed the game. I considered ending the game early just b/c nobody cared after about 20 seconds. It was sad, really. So, take my advice. Don't ever do what I did. Ever.

A POLL!!!

2006-11-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd try something new. Yesterday I spoke about a student that had a question regarding women pastors. I'd like to get YOUR opinion.

Check it.

Crazy? I was crazy once...

2006-11-20T21:56:00.000-08:00

Ever had one of those days when you wished you could just wrap yourself in a nice, warm horse carcass and sip castor oil on the shores of the wastewater treatment plant? Yeah.. me neither.

I haven't been diagnosed professionally, but sometimes I really do think I have ADHD. I probably shouldn't admit this in a semi-public forum, but there are days (like today) that I just can't seem to get a reign on my did you hear about the guy in England that had a check out this new game that's coming out on the thoughts going through my head.

Today I had a student email me some questions regarding women preachers. I'm excited b/c I can tell she's really searching the scrips and seeking the truth on it. I tried my best to lead her to the answers rather than just give them to her. I'm hoping it will help her to "own" her faith a little more, and it takes a lot less work on my part. What a beautiful system!

LUNCH WITH THE KIDS (well, 2 of them anyways)

2006-11-17T11:37:00.000-08:00

NOTE: I'm really getting into this "blog" thing; reading what other post and such. I'm noticing that the blogs I enjoy most are the ones that are relatively short and have some practical, useful information. So, for the 2 people that sub to this, I'm going to try and be short and practical, eventually.

Today was my second time to eat lunch with 2 of my students that attend a local high school. They actually invited me, which is a major ego boost, and I feel less like some weird, old guy that hangs out with high schoolers.

Earlier this week there was a shooting threat that some kid posted for today; so the school was quite abuzz. There's been no shooting so far, and I'm guessing whoever issued the threat either a.) didn't want to get the progress reports that were coming out today b.) was facing some other situation he wanted to get out of or c.) is just really jacked in the head

My 2 students jokingly asked me to come on Friday b/c that was "shooting" day. I told them I would. I guess they thought I was kidding, b/c they were prettys surprised to actually see me.

Here's a few interesting observations that I made today:
1.) I'm not alone. I met a guy named Doug (yeesh.. ANOTHER Doug!) that is the youth pastor at Central Church of Christ. He was a super nice guy, and I hope I run into him again.

2.) Kids' relationships at school can be strikingly different than their relationships at church. (check out Chap Clarks book "Hurt".. he has a good discussion of this)

3.) It's amazing how different HS is now, but then how much the same it is. It's a strange dichotomy of sameness and differentness, but it gives me hope that while yes, I may not relate to everything that's going on, there's still some very common themes and challenges that students have always dealt with.

Overall, I think meeting students for lunch on "their turf" is a GREAT idea, because you really get a peek into their world. This is made even better by the fact that I was invited to come and intersect with them for these few moments. It's a great opportunity to be a student of students, and I hope it will help me be more relevant as I try to lead the youth group.

A few POINTERS if you want to do this with your youth group
a.> Don't actually get food and eat lunch with them. Just hang out and talk. The food is horrible anyways.

b.> If time/money allows, bring them lunch sometime. Again.. the food is horrible.

c.> Don't make fun of your students. Don't ask me how I know.

d.> Try to ask questions and get them talking about their day/week. I have the tendency to become a stand-up comedian when I hang out with a new group of kids. (just like I'm in HS all over again). Laugh and make jokes, but try to get them talking as much as possible.

e.> Don't preach or try to make deep spiritual points. Just hang and observe, and respond if asked to.

f.> Remember stuff. If they tell you about something that happened, is happening, or will happen.. do your best to remember it. There's a hundred reasons why.. just do it. Trust me, I know it's difficult. My memory banks shorted out a while back, so this is a toughie for me, but it's worth working on.

Well, maybe this was practical...ly a novel. Sorry to both of you. I'm sure you won't make it to this line anyways, but the apology is there just in case you do.

No Penis

2006-11-16T13:09:00.000-08:00

Doesn't that title just make you incredibly uncomfortable?
Anyways, we went and had a sonogram of the Baby on tuesday, and it was very plain to see...that there was nothing to see. No Penis. So, in case you are extremely lacking in your knowledge of basic physiological structure, that means we're having another girl. Yay!

Of course, I'm excited. A lot of people have been asking if we're disappointed it isn't a boy, and honestly the answer is NO. This does, however, create a greater possibility that we'll go for #3 because yes, I cannot tell a lie (unless it's advantageous to me), I would like to have a son. But no, I'm not disappointed that it's a girl. I'm pretty excited for Anna to have a little sister. And, from the financial aspect, we will have to purchase very little in the way of clothes and such. Of course, we'll pay for it later when we have to send our child with a "hand-me-down" complex to therapy, but we've got 10-15 years to worry about that.

My Arch-Nemesis

2006-11-13T22:08:00.000-08:00

Pat Boone is my arch nemesis. I really feel like I should have an arch-nemesis, and Pat Boone was the first person who came to mind when I thought about who my arch-nemesis should be.

I mean, all these years of taunting my family, sabotaging my plans, and turning my friends against me, not to mention that horrible metal album in 97', and the summer of 01' when he walked out of the studio in the middle of our Nina Hagen tribute album; Who else WOULD it be?!

So there you have it.

I'll get you, Pat Boone, if it's the last...thing...I...DOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Quasi Vocalization of a Painful Realization

2006-11-13T21:16:00.001-08:00

This evening I was discussing, with a friend, why another friend is so annoying. During the course of the conversation, I stated "I usually don't like people that remind me of myself".

I've known this to be true for quite some time, but never vocalized it. Something happened when it did, because it forced me to make the next self-observation: "Maybe that should tell me something."

But enough self-loathing. I usually only get irritated at people who remind me of past versions of me. People who remind me of the now me usually become fast friends. I've found they are usually really great people with an odor of greatness mingled with a pinch of humility. (just a pinch)

Super Bowl, QT Coffee Drinks, and Guilt

2006-11-13T13:24:00.000-08:00

I just watched a promo vid for the SOUPER BOWL of CARING our youth group will be participating in. I feel guilty. We have SO MUCH food ("we" as in me and my family, and "we" as in the USA) yet we have the highest child poverty rate, and a huge population of homeless, hungry people. If we produce enough food for most of the world, why can't we feed our own?

Plus, when I think about the fact that everytime I buy a QT Crappuccino I could have fed a homeless person a hot meal, I just feel incredibly lame.

Oh Blogger, How I Miss Thee!

2006-11-13T12:48:00.000-08:00

I just checked this account for the first time in months, and to my surpise, there's some hefty updates! I may just have to return to my blogger ways! You know, where I post about once every six months.. yeah.. that's it!

My good friends Bill y Kara are getting hitched this weekend. I've had the scheduling equivilent of a 10-car pileup on my weekend, but I'm going to try with all that is within me to make it. I'm so excited for them!

I found an amazing informational resource online the other day. Really cool with lots and lots of stats about people who do and don't go to church, among other things. Probably pretty boring to most, but of special interest to me, because I dig stuff like that.

Other than that, I woke up with a horrible crick in my neck that seems to be worsening as the day goes on. I'm about to talk to my friend, Mr. L. Ortab and call it a day if this doesnt get better.

In unrelated news, we find out the gender of the baby tomorrow! YAY! Very exciting. It's really started movin', shakin' and kicking the snot outta mommie lately. To be honest, with the wicked pace of life we lead, it hasn't seemed all that "real" that we're pregnant, but it's becoming more and more so with things like karate kicks and sonograms. But now I'm starting to get scared, so I'm going to stop talking about it.

El Concerto de la Rockenrollo por Jesus Cristo

2006-10-06T17:03:00.000-07:00

Saturday the youth group had a concert at the youth center featuring Two Few Forgotten, Beautiful Allegation, and Dustin Mitchell leading praise & worship at the end.

I'll sum it up in two words: ROCKIN'!

And now for an itemized breakdown of why it was great.

a.)The STUDENTS
My youth group students that put it all together did a great job! Not only did a couple of them (Carissa & Lacey W) contact all the bands, but the same group plus Dillon and eventually Natalie showed up WAY early to help set-up the youth center for the show. And then many showed up. So that was good.

b.) The BANDS
I'm so proud of TFF, who lost their drummer in a horrific wrestling accident (well, not lost as in "he's dead", but lost as in "he's broken and can't play drums") the week before the show and had to do a 2-man-acoustic-jam-type set. As a musician, I know how losing a percussionist can totally jack up your groove, but you woulda never guessed it with these guys. They were consumate professionals and totally rocked their set. They also went all out for their merch table, which was neat.

I really enjoyed BA. One word summation: HIGH VOLTAGE! These guys totally laid it all out for every song and had great showmanship and stage presence, along with some very talented musicianmanshipism. Plus, they had a really cool T-shirt at their merch table.

Dustin, as always, did a supertastic job leading worship to finish things out. What a great guitarist/singer/worship leader!! That guy should be on a CD. Everyone really responded to the music, sang out to God, and in the end, it was evident that God was moving as we presented the gospel and invited people to respond.

c.) The PARENTS
I had three parents of students (one that doesn't even attend our church) serve as sponsors. I really appreciate them and all the help they were setting up, patrolling the halls, and just being there. I'm sure this wasn't their favorite kinda music, but they stuck it out and supported our youth group and the bands. I was very much proud of and thankful for them!

d.) The NON-PARENTS
Barry, Chrystal, and Andrea contributed huge in making this thing happen, too. Thanks for the goat milk!

e.) The MOST AWESOME GOD
Not only did we have a great time rockin' out, but God moved: Which was the most amazing thing of all. One professed Christ as Savior, and many committed to serving God in a deeper way. I pray for all who accepted Christ's challenge to respond to His Word and His Spirit. Don't Let The Fire Die!

f.) The DONOR
We had an anonymous loan/donation (loanation?) of some stage lights that really added to the stage set-up. Totally Rockin'! Everybody I talked to said they really added a lot to the concert. So here's to you, Mr. I-Hooked-Up-The-Youth-Group-With-Some-Killer-Stage-Lights.

READ THIS

2006-09-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

For anyone who might accidentally wander in here and check this (marissa?) check out my xanga: massivegoat

I also have a myspace (coffeeequalsmeaning) though I personally hate myspace. But, that's where the kiddos are, and which forces me to be a nomadic blogger. And I'm sporadic, which makes me a nomadic sporadic blogger.

Re-Thinking Youth Ministry

2006-02-20T09:01:00.000-08:00

I've got a thought bouncing around in my about the way we "do" youth ministry. Not that I have any problems with youth ministry: I think it's useful, needful, and honestly, a lot of fun. But, I've noticed some things (both my own personal experiences and the experiences of those around me) that I think are actually detriments to the spiritual growth of the students I'm to care for; as well as their parents, and the church at large. That, of course, is the complete opposite of our goal as youth ministers and pastors in general.

As of right now my thoughts and ideas are pretty unrefined, with little scriptural or philisophical basis... just a raw lump of and idea, really. My hope is that, through posting this in a semi-public forum, I can gain some other input to refine, mold, and shape my thoughts and ideas into something more practical and useful to others that share my calling.

With that said: A few observations that have prompted some questions (at least in my brain)
NOTE: All observations are made in general terms: I know there are specific instances that are contrary, but for this discussion I'm looking at youth ministry in general terms.

OBSERVATION 1: There's no mention of "youth" pastors in Scripture that I have found. There are instances where our responsibility to children is expressed, and where children are "brought" to Christ (which is one of the primary purposes of a Youth Minister), but no example, to my knowledge, of someone whose primary purpose was to minister solely to young people.

QUESTION 1: Since we don't have an explicit example of a youth pastor in scripture, is it described implicitly? Or, is the evolution of youth-specific pastors a response to the evolving face of youth culture, which is becoming more and more seperate from "adult" culture? (Chap Clark, a prof at Fuller Theological, has written a book that details the evolution of this seperation of cultures which is definitely worth a look to anyone interested in the subject.)

OBSERVATION 2: Youth ministries in churches seem to mirror the youth culture at large in that they are, for the most part, completely seperate from the rest of the church body: They have seperate services and seperate activities led by a seperate set of pastors and leaders.

QUESTION 2: Is this the right way to do things? If it is, by what basis? If it isn't, then how did it get this way (or why was it allowed to get this way) and what can be done to correct it?

OBSERVATION 3: Youth pastors have very little lasting effect on the students they pastor. Studies over and over again show that the most influential person in a student's life (no matter how jacked-up that relationship may be) is that student's parents.

QUESTION 3: If this is true, then shouldn't our focus be on parents instead of students? If youth pastors aren't effectively making a positive impact on the lives of students, then why do we have youth pastors?

OBSERVATION 4: In most churches I've been in contact with that had youth-specific pastoral staff, most of the parents of the students involved in that churches "youth" ministry seem to be disengaged from their child's spiritual growth and development.

QUESTION 4: Is this "disengagement" the result of youth-specific pastors and ministries, or are youth-specific pastors and ministries the result of this "disengagement"?

That's enough for now. If anybody DOES happen to read this far, then you must be at least semi-interested in youth ministry, so please, let me know what your thoughts. I obviously have a lot of thoughts on this myself, but I'm interested at this point to see what someone else thinks about all this. Is it a bunch of hooey? Is there any credence to my observations? And just how many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a tootsie-pop?

Ineptitude

2006-02-01T09:53:00.000-08:00

I hate ineptitude.

And, because of this hatred, I am displeased with a local fitness establishment.
I won't go into boring details, but it all comes down to ineptitude.
I kept my Christian happy face on, though...for the most part. I spoke politely as I could. I want to be a good witness and all, even though my desire to go on a Anakin-esque Light Saber Rampage welled up inside, drawing me dangerously close to the dark side.

But then I thought... "How hippo-critical!"
If anyone is adept at the inept, it's me. How can I hate something in someone else that is such an intrinsic part of my own being?

Well, as I stood there considering all this about human nature, the fact that adept and inept kinda rhyme, and my own misgivings, my anger subsided a bit and I put my lightsaber away.

I'm still perturbed, but I guess I'll be alright.

Bring Me Your Finest Meats & Cheeses

2006-01-31T08:13:00.000-08:00

I'm on a diet. Actually, I'm on a quest to permanantly modify my eating habits, but until I drop a few of these digusting accumulations of coagulated lard from my body, we'll just call it a diet. Now, I know what many will say regarding my choice of diet, and that's ok, you have the right. There are plenty of detractors out there that have a good argument against Dr. Atkins, but I know it works, and is one of the very few "lifestyle changes" I have attempted that has actually produced results. Being the incorrigible gastronome that I am, it's difficult to enact any dietary changes. At least with Dr. A, I'm given carte blanche to partake of a FEW of the foods that I love so dear. So thppppttt!

Moving On...

Will I ever be satisfied?

I guess it's natural to postulate about what potential lies within a change in one's deportment, but i seem to have a penchant for maintaining a lifestyle that remains in constant flux.

I feel like I'm on to something big.

I desire to do something big, something bold. My fear: the repercussions this could have on those I love and am responsible for (i.e. wife and child...especially the child) A part of me (though miniscule) hesitates at the thought of change, thinking that it would be better to take the "safe" way. But, I quickly kick that part of me in the face and turn towards the part of me that says "let's rock."

Unfortunately, I can't go into details about much, but I'm really searching my heart on this. What I can say is that I have an ineffable desire to be part of something MUCH bigger than I; to be a frontrunner of sorts, not because I desire any recognition (in fact, I would much prefer, in some ways, to stay completely under the radar), but because I think there's a better way that could potentially change the way we live. It's something, or more accurately "things", that I dream about, scheme about, buy books about, and go to conferences for. I have long discussions at night in the kitchen with my spouse, engage in extended e-mail trades, and even have sub rosa conversations with like-minded confreres about. The things of which I speak are not superficial changes: No, the further I delve into this "dream" (for lack of a better word), the more it becomes something more akin to a revolution. No, seriously. There are aspects of these ideas that I sincerely believe that, if pursued, or better, if pursued without caution, could cause quite a commotion. (Don't worry, I'm not some fanatical anti-government conspiracy theorist... most of the time)

I'll tell you something strange, too. Up until now, many of my "ideas" seemed unrelated. Some are environmental by nature. Some, spiritual, and still others, philisophical. Now, as you see these words printed on the screen, their relation seems obvious. But, it's only been recently that these "ideas" have matured to the point that I'm beginning to connect them into more of a composite structure.

I doubt anyone reading this can make much sense of this for I, myself, have yet to fully grasp the extent of it all. Nor have I yet to even pull it all together into a cohesive conception with a plan and purpose. I'm not sure how this is all going to play out, or if they'll play out at all;

But I feel like I'm on to something big.

Driving In The Car

2005-02-17T22:11:00.000-08:00

Anna and daddy drivin' in the car (clap clap)
Anna and daddy drivin' in the car (clap clap)
Anna and daddy drivin' in the car today

Anna's in the back seat cruisin' along
Daddy's in the front seat singin' this song
Anna's in the back seat cute as can be
Daddy's so in love with his bay-beeeee!

Anna and daddy drivin' in the car (clap clap)
Anna and daddy drivin' in the car (clap clap)
Anna and daddy drivin' in the car today

This is the song I've so eloquently penned to occupy Anna as we drive to the daycare each morning. It's a silly, simple song. You know, the kind that gets stuck on the bottom of your brain and stays there no matter how hard you try to scrape it off until you finally succumb to it's magnificent mnemonic powers and just let yourself get downright soulful with it's sugary sweet lyrics and sophomoric composition.

But let's focus in for the moment on the statement "...as we drive to the daycare each morning."

This is not easy.

I really thought this day care thing would be no problem. In fact, I admit I was a little excited about the prospect of my life re-centering itself into a quasi-normal state.

But this is really hard.

Nothing against the daycare. They're great. But as I went to leave her there on the first day, I found myself standing at the exit, looking at her, smiling uncomfortably, and feeling an overwhelming urge to grab her, run to the car and go home.

But I didn't.

In a very awkward and uncomfortable moment, I faked a smile at the day care worker and fumbled my way out the door -which I accidentally slammed shut (dang hollow-core pansy doors)- and then slowly walked away as I stared through the window at my little girl in the arms of a virtual stranger.

That was tough.

But I made it.

I have never been so happy to see someone in my life as I was at the end of that day.

Until the next day.

Day 2 at the daycare and daddy forgets to bring Anna's milk supply. So, I run back home and then back to the daycare to drop it off. As I re-enter the infant room for the second time, I spot Anna in a little swing thingy. As I'm talking to the worker, Anna starts to look around: She's heard my voice. I didn't go over to say goodbye again. I'm not for sure why. I was rushed; I was at my threshold of emotional stability; I didn't want to look like an obsessed parent; or likely a combination of all three. So I leave. As I'm walking out my door, Anna throws her arms up and does that little infant shakey arm move, which indicates she wants to be held...and her crappy daddy walks away.

Now I'm in a pickle.

I'm feeling an overwhelming rush of guilt for not rushing over to hold and love on my baby, but I'm also feeling like I'm about to start sobbing right in the middle of the hallway with probably 100 people within earshot.

So I run. I run down the hallway, out the door and into the car, where I start crying like a little girl.

What a wus.

To make matters worse, it's a seminary night, so I have to go to class that evening after work, which means I won't see her again for over 12 hours.

So I stop at the daycare on the way to class, making myself and another student late, so I can see my baby girl.

NOW I have never been so happy to see someone in my life as I was at the end of THAT day. Wow. What an astonishingly wonderful feeling as I took her up into my arms, held her close, and gently kissed all over her precious face. I didn't want to ever put her down again. But I did, after realizing it could make things a little awkward, especially as she entered the teen years.

Anyways, I got my baby fix and finally made my way to class.

I had a hard time concentrating, though.

This sugary sweet, sophmorically composed song kept running through my head... (clap clap)

BTW

2005-02-05T13:11:00.000-08:00

BTW.. .we had a baby.
Her name is Anna Lauren
Anna means "Grace"
Lauren means literally "Crowned With Laurel" or not so literally, "Victorious"

Grace Victorious

Not bad, if I do say myself.

She is a beautiful baby, too, if I do say so myself.

My conviction has been bolstered by the comments of people and friends who are not obliged nor inclined to make such kind comments about my baby if they were not true.

Dang, God's good.

She was born on January 1st at 11:02 p.m. She weighed 6 lbs 15 oz and was 17.75 inches long (6 inches of that being feet.. ok maybe a slight exaggeration..but only slight)

No, she wasn't the first baby of the year. But she was the second born at Norman Regional this year, for whatever that's worth. Take that and 7 bucks to Starbucks and they'll give you a Pico Latte'.

Speaking of Latte's, I finished putting some new cabinets and countertops in my kitchen. That means I now have space to keep my Cappucino Machine within easy reach, which means IT'S ON!!!

I miss my Latte's.

We all reallly need to get together and down a few of those at my house.

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